


Bittersweet

by Dewie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Angst - in case you didn't get it the first time, Family Issues, Flashbacks, Freeform School Life, Friends With Benefits, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character(s), Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Drugs, Slow Build, Sugawara Koushi / Original Characters, Teacher Akaashi Keiji, Triggers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:25:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dewie/pseuds/Dewie
Summary: Sugawara “Call me Sugar” Koushi catches Akaashi Keiji's curiosity with cryptic words and a sex appeal higher than any erotic deity known to mankind. Driven by a gut feeling that the boy is important, Akaashi falls into a dangerous deal. If he gets snared by this minx, he won’t ever escape. And Akaashi damn well hopes so.Tags will be added as story unfolds.





	1. Call me Sugar

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Enjoy my rare pair. I just have a thing for the pretty setter squad and just ughhhh

Akaashi Keiji always wanted to be a teacher. His favourite uncle was a high school teacher who explained the joys of helping youth develop academic and social knowledge. Somewhere in his Uncle’s philosophical rants, the seed for his dream was planted. He wanted to impact youth on the front line in a class room, like so many of his teachers had done. This was Akaashi’s second school after graduating university. Karasuno High School in the Miyagi Prefecture. He had a third year homeroom this year. It was half surprising that they’d leave such a young teacher with an important year group, unless they were especially rowdy.

Kids tended to be more distracted with an older teacher these days. Young educators had an understanding of their social systems and what kept their attention apart from books and lectures. Akaashi was driving to Karasuno High School in his dark blue Subaru Outlander. He heard the familiar sound of crows as they ﬂew overhead. Akaashi liked the symbolism of the high schools around Japan. His al mater was an owl nest. His best friend/senpai Bokuto Koutarou was obsessed with owls. His appearance mixed with his obsession made Akaashi believe he might turn into a feathered bird of prey one day. He was in the Japan National team now, his spikes making ground internationally. Akaashi was so proud of his senpai.

 Akaashi slowed down for students at a zebra crossing. All of them wore Karasuno's uniform. One female student looked at him and paused in the middle of the road before her friend scolded her. She scurried across and Akaashi switched into gear.

It wasn't rare that students gave him extra attention. Once female student made advances to him based on his habitual sarcasm. He quickly shut off his blunt sarcasm for the sake of not giving the wrong impression. Akaashi drove four block till the school’s back entrance where the teacher’s carpark laid. He parked on an empty side.

Akaashi got out and closed the front door to open the back and collect his backpack and laptop bag. He locked up his car as a Crow landed on his car with an ugly cry.

“Good morning Mr. Crow.” He looked into its eyes and what seemed like an eternity passed.

It went as quick as it came. Akaashi paused a moment and then begun to move toward the school. Wind nipped Akaashi's legs through his business pants. Akaashi felt the weight of the three cigarettes in his backpack. He sighed and walked faster.

 ***

 Akaashi was already introduced to the staff in the holidays. They were all dressed similar to his in dress shirts and business pants or dresses, except the Physical Education teachers in track suits. Akaashi was given a desk near the windows where he had already brought in a couple things last week including his laptop, a photo of his high school volleyball team, his mug with a weird pattern (after losing a couple cups in the kitchen due to plain designs), a good luck charm and document folders. He printed out his timetable and taped in on the desk top. The small accessories made it cozy enough. Akaashi got out his notebook and wrote the grocery list he meant to do this morning.

He made his way to his classroom just as the bell went. 3-4. 30 students. Basic classroom design.

Akaashi reached the classroom and heard chatter, he breathed in and walked in. Chatter died. A chair scrapped. Akaashi dropped his documents on the desk. People moved like ghosts to their seats. Akashi set up his Note book. He looked up to meet 29 sets of eyes on his. Akaashi noted the empty seat in the second back row to the left, away from the window. He stood from his seat and went to the front of the classroom.

“Good morning. I’m Akaashi-sensei. I’m from Tokyo. This is my second high school after graduating and I like owls. I look forward to spending this semester with you.” Akaashi smiled and bowed.

“Good morning.” The class replied.

He smiled wider in response. “I’ll go through the role.” Akaashi picked up his note book and opened the tab for the roll.

“Say ‘yes’ if present.” Akaashi went through the role. He got to S.

“Sugawara Koushi?”

 A moment passed and students murmured.

 “Yes.” All eyes cut to the doorway.

 A silver haired boy leaned against the door. Hazel eyes sparkled with a dark gleam. Flawless porcelain skin. Perfect uniform, except the red scarf and leather gloves hugging long ﬁngers. His hips were round despite his height. A 50’s actress would imitate the mole under his eye. But a goddess might not ever match the aura of ‘sexy’ he possessed.

 Akaashi frowned at his lateness. The boy made his way to his seat, looking straight despite all the eyes on him. Once he sat, he looked up at Akaashi. Akaashi felt as he was drowning in the auburn brown and flashes of green of the young man's mesmerizing eyes. A buzzing sensation in his ﬁngers made him look back to the roll. Akaashi ﬁnished and went on with the lesson. Japanese. He explained grammar and further essay tips. He told a story about some kanji characters to interest the students and got two up for a ‘Kanji competition’.

Akane Sunai and Ikaru Kugurugi spelt ten characters till the eleventh where Ikaru didn’t know and lost to Akane. Akaashi threw a lolly to Akane before she went to sit. Akaashi did two more rounds and then asked questions about history and the fastest with their hand up and the right answer got a lolly. The whole class got into it, except one. Sugawara Koushi looked like he had twenty better places to be. He was watching tentatively but never participated. Akaashi noticed the phone in his hand.

***

 “That’s class. Good work. See you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Sensei.” A bustle followed and students filed out. Sugawara was slowly collecting his things as he typed on his phone.

“Sugawara-kun. Can you stay for a moment?” The stragglers snickered and Sugawara sighed.

They left and Akaashi went over and leaned on the desk in front of him.

“Am I in trouble?”

 “No.” Akaashi smiled.

“I feel like I need to just talk to you so you will pay attention to class and not your phone.” Akaashi crossed his arms.

Sugawara leaned forward on his desk. “I tell you what. I’ll pay attention in class,” Akaashi raised an eyebrow, “if you call me ‘Sugar’.”

Sugawara gave him a coy smile. Akaashi breathed quickly like he was going underwater.

“Any special reason?”

“Just a nickname I prefer. It makes me focus when people call me it.” Akaashi didn’t want to know who ‘people’ were. Still, curiosity breathed on his neck. “Alright. I’ll do that. As long as you keep your phone away.”

“Thanks Sensei.” Sugawara smiled. In that moment Akaashi noticed two things: Sugawara's plush, small lips and for the first time in a long while, he was interested in someone. What made Sugawara so mesmerizing? Does he wear cologne? Is this a natural sexiness, or learned? What did those lips taste like?

Akaashi pushed away the rising thoughts about his student.

“See you tomorrow, Sugar-kun.”

Akaashi stood up and walked to his desk, the boy chuckled and stood. “Bye.”

Akaashi took the cleaning rag and went to wipe the board, he turned just to glimpse silver and red disappear in the doorway.

“Sugar, huh?” Akaashi smirked.

_How charming._


	2. What is an 'Adult'?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi goes to Tokyo for a long weekend. While having a night out with Bokuto and Kuroo he spots a familiar silver haired young man in the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole fic is actually the creative spark given to me by a good friend of mine. I know she's going to read this so hey! You're an awesome motivator. Enjoy.

A month after he begun at Karasuno High School, there was a long weekend perfect for Akaashi to go back to Tokyo. He missed his loud idiot best friend and their weekly get togethers. Akaashi picked up a few things he knew Bokuto’s kitchen would be missing due to he and his roommate’s lack of adult mindfulness.  
Akaashi made it to Bokuto’s apartment and rang the doorbell. The door was opened by a familiar bedhead ravenette with an unchanging shit eating grin.  
“Hello Kuroo.” Akaashi greeted. Before he could stop him, Kuroo scooped up Akaashi into a bear hug.  
“Hey Keiji~”  
Akaashi could blame his future back problems on Kuroo Tetsurou. He was released and they walked into the two bedroom apartment. Housing was getting more expensive and Bokuto and Kuroo with their proud “bachelorhood” wanted to share an apartment. An excuse for not having girlfriends, but money wise. Akaashi unpacked the groceries.  
“How’s Miyagi?” Kuroo sat at the counter.  
“It’s good. My classes are great. Country kids are more respectful than city ones, that's for sure.”  
“Any little delinquents?” Silver hair popped into his mind.  
“Nope. They try but it doesn’t compare to the gangs here. How’s your work?”  
“Really good. I got promoted. Another hour but it’s okay. There’s a cute girl at work too.” Akaashi closed the fridge and raised an eyebrow at Kuroo.  
“What about Tsukishima?” Kuroo groaned and put his face in his palms.  
“I should just give up. He’s already rejected me.” Akaashi scoffed.  
“How dare you.” Kuroo gave him a look.  
“He’s liked you since high school you idiot.” Akaashi turned to Kuroo’s wide eyes.  
“What? No he hasn’t-"   
“If he didn’t like you he would outright avoided you. And he talks about you in our texts.” Akashi smirked at Kuroo’s slack jaw. Tsukishima Kei was their junior from volleyball in high school. He was typically reclusive so he naturally clashed with someone as extroverted as Kuroo. Akaashi still kept in contact and with Tsukishima involved in the same work as Kuroo, he did receive texts about the cocky bastard being a cocky bastard.  
“What does he say?!”  
“That you’re annoying.” Kuroo leaned back in the chair.  
“And yet stupidly charming. Just don’t ﬂirt so much and he won’t be an arse. Youse two are ﬁre, you will naturally clash. Just take the guy to a museum and shut up.” Akaashi walked out of the kitchen.  
“He really likes me?” Kuroo spun on the chair to face Akaashi.  
“Yes. God. You’re so dense.” Kuroo laughed. Akaashi changed the TV channel to the news.  
“Like you’re one to talk.” Kuroo retorted.  
Akaashi went to open his mouth when the door slammed open. “Hey Hey Hey! Akaashi!!”  
Bokuto lit up and ran to his best friend. Akaashi was rewarded his second bear hug for the day.  
“Hello Bokuto.” Akaashi wheezed. His spinal cord cracked.  
“Kou, you’re going to kill him.” Kuroo laughed. Bokuto put him down and laughed.  
“How was the train?”  
“Quiet. You look well. Your hair looks good.” Akaashi looked at Bokuto’s salt and pepper owl hair slicked back. It made his face look more mature. Although the suit helped. Red coloured his cheeks.  
“Thanks Akaashi.”  
Kuroo smiled sadly at his dopey bro from the high seat.  
***  
The boys decided to have a night out. A ‘night out’ being Akaashi dragged around by the two messy headed, loud ex-volleyball captains around Tokyo city. Bokuto was drunk leaving the fourth bar they’ve visited.  
“You know what, I’m a _FIVE_ times better spiker than Misaki!” Bokuto wailed about his senpai who annoys Bokuto. Akaashi laughed and let him hang over Kuroo.  
The night was full of lights and bustle. The main streets always made Akaashi look around. Girls wearing costumes walked past in a group, expensive cars zoomed by and fresh adults were out and about having their wilder version of a ‘night out’.  
A hundred metres ahead of them, Akaashi spotted a head of silver, much like Sugawara. _Man that kid had been_ \- Akaashi stopped walking.  
The boy turned sideways. Akaashi’s heart thumped.  
“Bro, what is it?” Kuroo asked Akaashi. Akaashi waved it off and then rushed ahead.  
“I’m just checking out something.” He called behind him.  
Akaashi tailed the silver hair cautiously. Sugawara wore a long black coat thing with boots and the scarf he wore to school. He looked… mature. He slowed when he did at the front of a take away food shop. He checked that damn phone and looked round. Akaashi ducked into an alley.  
The boy was approached by a man in a suit. He put away his phone and smiled. The man, he was neat, about mid 40’s and looking at Sugar like no adult should. Although, Akaashi couldn’t talk.  
Akaashi tailed them as they walked and saw the man’s arm wrap around Sugawara’s waist a block over and just a minute later they turned into- ?!  
Akaashi couldn’t fucking believe his eyes.  
The neon sign created a whole new Sugawara. He was a cheeky, witty and graceful boy who Akaashi enjoyed teaching, but right now he was a underage student who just waltzed into a love hotel with a salary man.  
It was like the alcohol had just hit him, and he was disorientated. Was it the alcohol? But he was the responsible one tonight, only two drinks. He wasn't drunk, but hell he wanted to be.  
He made his way back to the main road, seeing the two tall messes walking. Akaashi stared blankly and walked up to them.  
“Fuck! Keiji! What the hell!? Sneaking up on- hey, you alright?” Kuroo jumped and then looked at Akaashi. Akaashi tried to compose himself.  
“Yeah, I’m alright.” He was deﬁnitely not alright.  
***  
Bokuto drunk a jug of water then was stripped by Akaashi and thrown into bed. Kuroo was in the shower so Akaashi sat on the lounge waiting for his turn. His mind was turning over the thing he saw earlier. Was it really his student? What should he do? Can he do anything? Having a kid you know do something that unbelievably explicit was daunting. Akaashi felt tense in his hands and he wanted to go back and ﬁnd out if it was really Sugawara. Just yesterday he was sitting in class paying attention. After that ﬁrst day the boy was never late.  
Murmurs broke out when Akaashi called the roll and got to Sugawara and called him “Sugar”. “Yes.” He answered like a prayer spoken from the devil’s lips. Kari-sensei pulled him up that afternoon in the staffroom. He gave him Sugawara’s ﬁle and warned him.

 _“The boy is nothing but trouble. Many rumours ﬂy about him. Despite being on the volleyball team and his good grades, he gets up to mischief outside of school. Don’t get to friendly with him.” Kari-Sensei sighed._  
_Akaashi nodded. “I understand.”_

He was in a normal family life, a single child with both parents. Mother is a ﬂorist. Father works at the regional transport service. He lived on the outskirts of town. He was good friends with Azumane Asashi and Daichi Sawamura.  
Still, Akaashi heard the students talk.

  
_“Didn’t he hook up with that ﬁrst year?”_  
_“I heard he’s fucked someone in the bathroom just last week.”_  
_“He’s really good at head, so said #####.”_  
_“He used to be in that gang. Just their bitch though.”_

  
“Akaashi Keiji!” Akaashi jumped at the hand waving in front of him. While he was zoned out to Nirvana, Kuroo was out of the shower.  
Concern coloured him, “Everything alright?”  
“Kinda.”  
“What’s up?” Akaashi rubbed his neck, Kuroo sat down next to him, wiping his hair.  
“I think I saw my student back there.” Akaashi started. “He went into a love hotel with a suit.”  
Kuroo stopped moving and whistled.  
“How old is he?”  
“Seventeen. Underage and… I can't believe it.”  
“Is he a model student or something?” Kuroo started to wipe his hair again.  
“His grades are above average and his attendance is ﬂawless since this semester. He’s a cheeky kid but not in an overbearing way. He has manipulation techniques rivaling con artists. He has a strange aura, but all the things on paper about him seem normal.”  
“Is he a favourite?” It was against Akaashi’s methods to choose favourites. It wasn’t as if he got special treatment, it’s just Akaashi couldn’t keep his eyes off of the kid. Akaashi blinked. The truth hit him like a bright light. Every piece of moral fiber in his body shriveled. Somewhere in Kyushu his dear uncle started to cry.  
“I want to have sex with him.”  
***  
Ever since he was younger once Akaashi was interested in something, or felt he had to do something he would be restless til it was done. The urge would only grow stronger. And there’s something else, something _strange_ about him.  
Akaashi wanted him and he had to have him. The next issue.  
Akaashi had never purposely ﬂirted with anyone. Seducing him would be a task.  
He’s had girlfriends and a couple boyfriends, but nothing ever serious. Well, nothing he took seriously. But this was a whole different ball game.  
Akaashi sighed when the train pulled up at the station in town. He got his duffel bag and exited the carriage. Walking along the platform he made a mental list of groceries he needed.  
“Sensei?” Akaashi spun around.  
Sugawara Koushi stood in front of him with luggage, departed from the 3:40pm train from Tokyo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea. Bokuto likes Akaashi. Akaashi is lusting after his student. *sigh*


	3. Innocent til prove Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Faustian contract.

Akaashi took a long draw of his cigarette. The smoke seize his thoughts for a moment.

He was leaning on the secluded side of the Science building, where kids skipped class to do exactly what he was doing.

He exhaled and started thinking again. Approximately 7 minutes till class started. Sugawara would be present.

The coincidental run in at the train station ended smoothly. Sugawara had been in Tokyo to visit his cousin and do some shopping, apparently. So many questions arose but Akaashi replied curtly and then dismissed himself with a “See you at school tomorrow.”

He was going to say he needed to talk to him after class tomorrow, but then it wouldn’t guarantee his presence. Akaashi had a feeling the boy would avoid being in trouble in any way possible.

Akaashi pictured the boy in class. He was quiet and distant from the others despite being physically the same distance as everyone else. His hair tinged gold in the afternoons and his eyes always watched Akaashi. Sometimes a prickling feeling caressed the back of his neck, as if something was thinking intensely about him.

Overall, he was a very diligent student. He participated earnestly in club activities, was present for all classes, got high marks in assessments and exams and listened to his teachers. The social aspect of student life seemed to only involve his volleyball team and his close friends Sawamura and Azumane. Azumane was in the same class and was the only peer who he communicated with.

It was a nice face, Akaashi had to agree. But that's just one of many. There's a dark appeal underneath the sweet coating that Sugawara has taken care to create. If he pushed him, he'd either push back with crushing force or flee and never be found. Akaashi had to do it soon, or he was going to lose his mind.

Akaashi hasn’t felt like this since his university volleyball days. Right before an important match, he’d have to read and book or have a smoke to calm his nerves. Exhaling the last draw of the cigarette, Akaashi tugged on his shirt a couple times.

Summer was stuck to the prefecture like a wet blanket. Akaashi liked the heat, but not today.

He plucked the cigarette butt from his mouth and put it back in the packet. Akaashi made his way to class.

He opened the door, there was movement and everyone was in their designated seats. Akaashi called the roll.

Midway through History, he asked an especially tricky question. Everyone diverted their eyes as Akaashi walked down the aisles.

“Anyone?” He asked.

A paper slipped on to Sugawara Koushi’s desk as Akaashi walked passed to pick on a student.

***

“So what is it Sensei?”

Sugawara stood in the doorway, across from where Akaashi sat at his desk.

“Come in, close the door.”

Sugawara did. He leaned on the closest desk in front of the teacher’s desk. Akaashi dreaded the next few

moments. He’d practiced, but could recall nothing.

“I saw you in Tokyo.” Akaashi mentally kicked himself for the whole situation.

“And?” Hazel slits watched him.

“You went into a love hotel with an older man.”...

“Are you going to punish me? Call my parents?” Sugawara tilted his head, “‘Your son is a whore.’?” His whisper toned with amusement.

He was fucking with him.

Akaashi was taken down a peg when Sugawara stepped up and sat on the edge of his desk.

“My parents think I’m a perfect little child. I get good grades, I’m dedicated to my sports club, I’m involved

in the arts faculty. Brilliant Sugawara Koushi. Blessed with beauty and brains.” Sugawara resembled a

jaguar poised to attack its prey. Akaashi felt like a gazelle. Maybe a mouse.

“Is it money?” Akaashi asked. Sugawara raised his chin and grimaced.

“No.”

Sugawara popped open the top button on his shirt.

“It’s because I like sex.” He smiled from ear to ear.

Akaashi was the furthest back in his chair he could be.

“Would you like to try Sensei?” Sugawara crawled over the desk and stood with his legs beside Akaashi’s

chair.

“I’d lie if I said I didn’t.” Akaashi stood up, grabbing under the boy’s thighs.

Sugawara’s hands found Akaashi’s shirt. Bells went off in Akaashi’s head. Last night he was tossing and turning about his crumbling morals. It came down the idea that this wasn't just a thing for his student. It was a thing for Sugawara himself.

“So is it really for the sex?” Akaashi asked.

Sugawara smirked and shrugged. Akaashi grabbed the boy’s waist and kissed him. Akaashi's tongue intruded soft lips into a delicious sweetness. The voices of morality died along with Akaashi’s restraint. Akaashi ravished the boy’s mouth. It was as if he'd just sucked on a packet of candies, it was so damn sweet. He sucked on his tongue and earned a moan. The boy pressed back further, hands creeping up to play with the edge of his hairline. He arched his body to press their bodies close and moved back and forth with the kissing. The motion made them both feel in and at the mercy of each other's lust. Akaashi swears he's seen this scene in a porno once. Nails dug into his shoulder, it hurt but it made his dick twitch.

 _Experience does matter, anyone who said otherwise is a fucking idiot._ Akaashi pushed the boy on to his desk, two slim legs wrapped around his waist in response.

“What about me?” Akaashi murmured when their lips disconnected.

“…?”

“I’ll replace those guys.” Akaashi explained. Sugawara blinked and looked like he was considering it.

Akaashi sent a weak prayer to the big man.

“Why?”

“Well. I won’t pay you to have sex with me and it’s safer than going and meeting up with strangers.” Akaashi said the first thing that popped into his mind.

“Is this part of the job, Sensei?” He insinuated the last word. Akaashi wanted Sugawara not to be his student. Just some random guy. But no, it’s because he was his student this was happening.

“I usually think things through. I plan and act strategically. But when it comes to you. I can’t ever seem to think straight. It’s karma, I’m sure.” Akaashi thought of all the manipulative tactics he's used to avoid others or getting what he wants when he was a child. Sugawara assessed Akaashi with deep scrutiny.

“It’ll be my first time with a teacher.” Sugar's voice was low. Akaashi's brain clinked together and dished out coherent logic.

“It’s fair. I’ll be your sex partner, in return you have to keep it a secret. But then again, I could just say you seduced me. But this has hazards no matter what. No obligation to enter. It’s just a simple answer to: Do you want to?” Akaashi smirked. Sugawara's eyes looked straight into his and Akaashi knew he had succeeded.

“It sounds fun. Why not. So Sensei, are we going to seal the deal here?” Sugar licked his lips. _Fuck._ Akaashi's palms heated up. He gripped the slim thighs harder and pushed him back slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit quick I know, but Akaashi was pretty impatient because Sugar makes him high. Sugar pushed back hehehehehehe


	4. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi and Sugawara have sealed the deal

Sugawara’s torso was on full display with his pale skin, just-toned abs and pink nipples. Pink tinged his cheeks and ears. Lust glazed hazel orbs and complimented his swollen lips. Akaashi admired his handwork at making him look so downright messed up with just groping and French. His eyes flicked to the purple mark rising on Sugar’s neck. In a silent explicit contract, they gave each other a hickey just under where their collars would be.

Akaashi pushed himself off and away from his desk and the submitted incubus staring at him like prey. Akaashi realized his toes where tingling.

“We better get going before it gets too late.” Akaashi looked at the floor to find his tie. Sugawara sighed and sat up.

“Fine.”

They took a couple minutes making themselves presentable. Akaashi was happy they didn’t go too far. Guilt was gnawing on the edges of his mind. Everything felt so wrong. He looked over at Sugawara finishing his last button up. His tongue had a bitter aftertaste, but it was still sweet.

He might go to a shrine and pray for forgiveness or good fortune this weekend.

“No training this afternoon?” He asked Sugawara.

“We third years have Mondays off for studying.” Sugawara singed his bag over his shoulder. Akaashi also picked up his laptop bag with his wallet and phone inside.

“Ready?” Akaashi asked. Sugawara nodded in response.

They made their way out. If anyone asked, he could make up a bullshit excuse about helping his student.

“What position do you play?” Akaashi filled in the silence.

“In volleyball?” Akaashi nodded.

“I’m a setter. I was official setter earlier this year and late last year. But now we have a first year genius. Kageyama Tobio, the best setter in the prefecture. The talent is intimidating.” Sugawara sighed. It’s the first time Akaashi saw the boy look like a normal teenager. He must  really like volleyball. Akaashi was happy, it’d make a good platform for conversation.

“Why setter?”

“Do you like volleyball?” Sugawara changed the subject off of him.

“Very. I played it all from middle school to university.”

“What position?”

“Setter.” Akaashi looked at Sugawara’s amused expression.

“Maybe you could give me a few tips, Sensei?” Sugawara teased.

“You’re going to have to beg for it.”

“?! - Sensei does have thorns.” Sugawara’s metaphor widened Akaashi's grin.

“I think we might have more in common than we both think.” Akaashi considered out loud. Sugawara smiled.

“Would you like a ride home?”

“Sure.”

They walked to the carpark and across to Akaashi’s car.

Akaashi put his things in the back seat. Sugawara was already in the passenger.

Akaashi got in the driver’s.

“Where do you live?”

His address was close to Akaashi’s. Akaashi was renting a small house on the bottom of the mountain from an old couple who owned a large piece of land.

“So, why did you become a teacher?” Sugawara asked.

“My Uncle was a primary teacher and made me love the idea of inspiring and helping people to become the people they want to be in a classroom situation. The feeling when a student says “I get it now!” and they light up with understanding or “ _Thank you Sensei, for everything._ ” Means you’ve changed someone’s life. Cause every day we have choices to grow, and it’s wonderful helping making youth make those decisions.” Akaashi didn’t mean to explain it all, but he did. Being with the boy was comforting in moments like this.

“Interesting.”

“Do you have any career aspirations?” Akaashi asked.

“I don’t know.” Sugawara’s voice was quiet. His words weren't the uncertainty of his career choice, but of his future. Akaashi took a deep breathe.

“What about volleyball?”

“No, I’m not good enough. You should come along to training Sensei.” Sugawara’s tone changed.

“Oh?”

“You’ll get to see this genius setter and you’re input could be helpful.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You went to Nationals in High School and again in University. You could’ve played for Japan but declined.” Sugawara chirped. Akaashi chuckled.

“So you’ve researched me?”

“I keep tabs on skilled volleyball players.”

Akaashi reached the place where he’d drop the boy off. At the end of the block to his house.

“So will you show up tomorrow?”

“If you give me your phone number.” Akaashi said. Sugawara smiled and opened the door. Akaashi frowned.

Sugawara slid out and walked around the front of the car and to Akaashi’s window.

He put his hand to his chest and winked. “See you later, Akaashi-san.”

The boy turned and walked away. Akaashi felt his breast pocket and pulled out a note with a phone number scribbled on it. He must’ve put it on when he was playing with his shirt. But Akaashi couldn’t recall.

_Sneaky._

Akaashi drove off.

***

Toweling at his wet hair, Akaashi sat on his lounge and picked up his phone.

The clock above the TV was loud. The crickets outside mixed with the ticking to deafen Akaashi.

“Fuck it.” He muttered and clicked icons to open his chat box.

 

 

**Sugar**

**What time is training?** 8:36pm

 **4:15pm**. 8:36pm

 **What are you wearing?** 8:37pm

 **Pajamas.** 8:39pm

 **How old are you again?** 8:39pm

 **Old enough.** 8:39pm

 **I imagined you wearing something different to bed.** 8:40pm

 **Like?** 8:40pm

 **Nothing.** 8:40pm

 **Are you gonna tell me?** 8:40pm

**Honestly, do you need body language**

**that much to communicate?** 8:41pm

 **No, I’m texting right now.** 8:41pm

 **Wow. You know I’ve eaten jelly thinner than you.** 8:42pm

 **What flavour?** 8:42pm

 **You’ve made me tired. I’m going to bed.** 8:43pm

 **But we haven’t done anything strenuous yet.** 8:43pm

 **You’re actually an arsehole, aren’t you**. 8:44pm

 **You should get to bed.** 8:44pm

 **Are you saying that as Sensei?** 8:45pm

 **No, I’m saying it as an arsehole**. 8:45pm

 **Good fucking night.** 8:45pm

 **Sweet dreams.** 8:46pm

                                                                                                ____________________________________________________

 

 

 

Akaashi resembled a clown with an idiot smile on his face.

How cute would Sugawara be when he’s all pissy? Can he effectively tail and seduce as well as he is submits?

That night, his mind conjured images of a silver haired nymph before sleep dragged him under.

***

The echo of volleyballs hitting the gym floor and the squeaking of sneakers was the first thing Akaashi took in as he approached the gym. He walked up to the open door and scanned the situation.

They were doing serve drills.

“Ah, Akaashi-Sensei!” Takeda spotted him. Tacked was the teacher in charge of the volleyball club, he was in no way special but he was very hard working. He asked him earlier if he could come check out the volleyball team. When Takeda discovered Akaashi was very experienced he quickly said yes.

Akaashi changed his shoes and walked in. He made eye contact with Sugawara who was grinning.

“Thanks for letting me come along Sensei.” Akaashi said and bowed his head.

“No it’s perfectly fine. Oh, this is Ukai-kun. He’s the coach.” Takeda introduced a scary looking blonde beside him.

“Hello Ukai-san. I’m Akaashi Keiji, I’m in the Arts Department.”

“Hello. Ukai … I hear you’re a player?”

“I played all throughout my education. I went Fukurodani High School. I play setter.”

“Oh wow.” His eyes shone with understanding.

“Wait. I think I remember you. You were on the team with that crazy haired spiker!”

“Bokuto-san is my best friend.”

“Bokuto Koutarou!?” Ukai looked shocked.

“Yeah.”

Ukai-san looked shocked and then saw Takeda’s lack of knowledge.

“Bokuto Koutarou is a Wing Spiker for Japan.”

“Wow! That’s awesome. Well, please if you have any advice for the students, feel free.” Takeda gave him a thousand watt smile.

“Thanks.”

“We’ll introduce you,” Takeda said, “Team gather round!”

The team stopped and made a semi-circle. Gazes split between Takeda and Akaashi.

“Akaashi-sensei is joining us today. He has valuable experience in volleyball. Akaashi-san?” Takeda queued him. Akaashi stood straighter.

“Hello. It’s nice to meet you all. It was actually Sugawara-kun who told me to come along today after discovering my career in volleyball,” Sugawara smiled, “So, I’m just here to observe. But I played volleyball throughout middle school up to university, where I declined an athletic career to play for Japan to fulfil my dream of teaching. I’m a setter.”

A cute, orange haired kid and a tall, dark haired kid eyes were sparkling in awe. The other members regarded him normally.

“Alright. Spikes.”

Akaashi watched as they went to spike practice. Sugawara and the dark haired, tall kid took setter positions. He watched them set. It was obvious Sugawara was of average caliber and his tosses were nicely paced. The other was too precise. The genius.

A few rotations in he switched with Kageyama to show Sugawara and him how to last minute set from a spike. They took in the arm positioning and signaling.

Akaashi spent all practice helping them all out. The small orange haired boy and the genius setter asked questions with zeal. Akaashi admired their energy and the little one reminded him of Bokuto. The setter mainly asked about team dynamics and not technique, which was understandable. Akaashi's eyes drifted to Sugawara whenever they had the chance. Ukai discussed the progress of the team with him. He told the students he’d be willing to help anyone who asks and dismissed himself.

He sent Sugawara a text outside the gym.

***

Sugawara slid into the passenger and closed the door.

“Thanks for coming along.” Sugawara’s words confirmed that he was testing Akaashi. Testing if Akaashi was trustworthy. Meaning he was interested in Sugawara so he could indulge him.

“It’s fine.” Akaashi started the car.

They drove along in silence.

“There’s a festival in the next town over on Wednesday. Do you want to go?”

“Oh the Spring Festival! Sure. What do you prefer, casual or yukata?”

The thought of Sugawara in a yukata stirred Akaashi’s alternative imagination, but then again him in jeans and a cute shirt would be gorgeous. The little devil on Akaashi’s shoulder told him Yukata’s are easier to slide off.

“Surprise me.” Akaashi chimed.

Sugawara grinned accepting the challenge, “Alright.”

Akaashi pulled up to the drop off point.

“Oh that’s right, Sensei.”

Akaashi turned to look at Sugawara. His neck was caught by cold fingers. Familiar plush lips pressed against his.

Sugawara was over the console, kissing Akaashi. Akaashi reactions spurred him to grabbing Sugawara’s torso. Like all oxygen was in Akaashi’s mouth, Sugawara desperately opened his lips to roll their tongues together. Sugawara moaned and pushed Akaashi back.

Akaashi nipped Sugawara’s lip. Sugar flinched and pulled back. “Hah.”

Akaashi grabbed Sugawara’s chin and leaned forward. His tongue ran across the wound before he pressed a small kiss to it. He let go and Sugawara sunk back.

“You can tell a lot about someone by how they kiss.” Sugawara stared at Akaashi. It was as if he saw every secret in Akaashi’s heart. All his insecurities laid in front of him. Akaashi glanced at the red cut on his lip.

“What does my technique say about me?”

“You're lonely.” Sugawara didn’t smile. He bowed his head and exited the car. A wave bye and he disappeared behind a fence.

 _How many people did the kid have to kiss to be able to analyze someone by the way they lock lips?_ Akaashi mulled over his thoughts. He started the car, lick his lips and thought about how he should kiss him next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sloowwwwwlyyy burrninnnng in the pits of hell because I'm so flipping thirsty for pretty boys to get it on. Rare pair hell is a couple floors down from trash burning. Hi. Me. Rare pair trash who likes pretty boys. Love ma Sugar baby.
> 
> Hi. Feedback would be great. I'm trying to get a certain feel for Akaashi and Sugawara while not being to out of character. So just like, what you think of them would be great, cause I get what I'm trying to put across, but it might be hard for an audience. Although the tags kinda give it away but yeah. Comments would be highly appreciated.


	5. Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugawara POV

“Suga!”

Daichi’s voice snapped Sugawara back into reality.

“What is it, Daichi?” Sugawara stood up from where he sat under a tree at the other side of the oval.

“I need to talk to you.” Sugawara mentally sighed at Daichi’s parental tone.

“Another rumour is being spread about you.” Rays of sunshine spotted all over Daichi from the gaps in the foliage.

Daichi Sawamura was Sugawara’s best friend throughout high school. He was a tall, tan and attractive not-yet-a-man-but-not-a-boy. He possessed a certain strength in everything he did, Sugawara envied that. He was one of the only people who didn’t judge Sugawara, maybe it was because he had an idea of why he did what he did. But Sugawara kept him at an arm’s distance, simply didn’t want to hurt Daichi.

“Oh, who did I fuck this time?”

“What’s the relationship between you and your homeroom teacher?” Daichi crossed his arms. Sugawara bristled at the mention of Akaashi-san, unconsciously licking the cut on his lip.

“Thank you for worrying about me Daichi, but I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”

“We’re graduating soon. Which means we have to make choices. Suga, you can’t keep acting like this. What do you think will come of it? You need to grow up and-”

“Shut up! You don’t understand a thing!” Sugawara exploded. Daichi stood a bit straighter.

“You’re a rich boy with a good character and you don’t understand pain! Don’t tell me to grow up when I already have! You don’t even care about me, you’re just doing what’s “right”. It wouldn’t matter who is upset, you’d comfort them all the same! Leave me alone Daichi.” Sugawara was panting. His heart clenched painfully at every word he shouted. Daichi looked like a kicked puppy.

“I care about you Sugawara. You might be grown up in some parts of life, but you’re still a kid at heart. Text me if you need me.” Daichi spun around and walked into the light. Further and further from

Sugawara.

Tears brimmed his eyes, but he refused them. By pushing Daichi away he did the right thing for both of them. If he knew. If he knew how dirty Sugawara really was…

_Would he really be so accepting?_

Scooping his bag, Sugawara ran.

Akaashi-san was magnetizing. There was something about him that made Sugar feel easy. Despite the sexual tension between them, he knew Akaashi didn’t just want him for sex. His intentions lie beyond that. He wanted him physically, yes, but… The way he spoke was respectful but challenged Sugawara to think and feel. He’s putting his neck out to see Sugawara. He’d be okay with just sex, but that wasn’t all.

“There’s a festival in the next town over on Wednesday. Do you want to go?”

The man was squirming his way into Sugawara’s world. _But what if he found out?_

Sugawara reached the school fence and jumped it. His heartbeat was heavy in his veins.

His friends, his team and even Akaashi-san, how would they see Sugawara Koushi if they knew what he had done?

Sugawara ran to the forest trails, which spread all over the mountain.

**Dirty.         Gross.                   Abomination.**

“It’s not my fault.” Sugawara panted and ran harder.

He reached an old shrine to a mountain god and collapsed in a clearing. Rivers of hot emotions ran down his face as he sobbed with his entire body. His chest hurt and bile reached his mouth.

Phantom sensations took over his body. Large hands gripping his thighs and waist. A hot tongue licking every inch of him. The feeling of being pinned to his bed. He can’t scream. Sugawara shuddered violently.

A voice whispers into his ear.

_“Kou-chan. Look at me. Ah, you’re so good… You’re such a cute slut…. I love you Koushi.”_

Sugawara emptied his stomach on the grass.

“I won’t forgive you Izumi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey batta batta batta  
> Hey batta batta batta SWINg~


	6. Fireworks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Festival Date <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovies. I've decided to give this to you now because the next two weeks are gonna be hectic (life of a uni student 101) and I'll more than likely forget to update. Enjoy, ya lil pervs.

The late afternoon sky was painted with shades of pink, purple and yellow. With winter dissolving away, jumpers became less necessary with each passing day. The drive to the usual drop off spot seemed to take longer than usual. Akaashi spent half an hour fussing over his clothes, like a teenage girl. He did justify it was their first date. Akaashi decided on a nice navy blue button up shirt matched with tan jeans with sneakers. The style was a couple years too young for him, but it made him less suspicious walking around with a teenager. He couldn’t really do anything with his hair, so he wore cologne for a change.

Akaashi threw on his western R&B playlist and turned it up a couple notches. Akaashi tended to like smooth music but classical and jazz missed an edge that made him pay attention and not zone out. Chris Brown ‘Winner’ flowed out of the  speakers as the corner came up.

Akaashi pulled up and Sugawara opened the door and slide in comfortably. Akaashi was more than half hoping for yukata eye candy but, it was a nice surprise.

He wore grey jeans, black canvas shoes topped with a white shirt with a scribble design and a cute black vest. A couple bracelets adorned his wrist, along with stud earrings. Akaashi breathed in his sweet fresh shower scent and took a mental picture of how cute he looked.

Sugawara was radiant as always, but tonight he looked in his element. So he still shined like the sun, but now, sparkles flew off his aura.

“Wow. You look so young.” Sugawara checked out Akaashi as he pulled off the curb.

“You look handsome.”

“I never pictured you as an R&B person.” Sugawara chuckled.

“Everyone has surprising traits.”

“Yeah.”

“You can change it if you want.” Akaashi offered. Sugawara reached over, turned it up, earning a smile from Akaashi. A small victory was won.

***

The sky darkened into midnight blue splattered by the twinkle of constellations. The warm glow of the festival came into sight on the descent into the valley. They found a spare parking space on the next street over and got out the car.

“I have jumpers in the back seat, tell me if you get cold.” Akaashi informed Sugawara who nodded. They walked along the path toward the festival.

A warm, slender hand slipped into Akaashi’s.

The buzz of chatter and game sounds found their ears before the stalls came into sight.

They wandered up the stall made streets hand in hand before deciding which stall to check out first.

Sugawara chose a Ring Toss. He threw four loops and missed barely. Akaashi slapped down 200 yen and won Sugawara a giant rabbit with a flick of the wrist.

They both ate earlier, but the delicious smell of street food brought them in. Sugawara munched on a candy apple while Akaashi stuck with takoyaki. He ended up feeding Sugawara an octopus ball, which made the boy blush for some reason.

“A lot of people look at you.” Sugawara stated out of nowhere.

“It’s cause they jealous of my cute date.” Akaashi grinned at Sugawara who rolled his eyes. His ears were pink.

“It’s cause you’re a good looking guy.”

“So you think I’m good looking.”

Sugawara gave Akaashi a look which made him laugh. Sugawara blinked. It was the first time he’d heard the man laugh. It was a melodic sound filled with pure joy.

They walked on to the mask stand. Akaashi admitted never getting a mask, so Sugawara had already planned it.

“Sugar?” Akaashi and Sugawara turned to the intruding voice.

A handsome teenage boy was standing a good metre away with a condescending smirk on his face.

Akaashi felt his defences rise when Sugawara sighed. But his resolve crumbled when Sugawara straighten up and had the store of an army general.

“Go away.” Sugawara’s words were dry ice, threatening to anyone with a will to live.

“Oh. To ashamed with your new boyfriend around?” Akaashi wanted to punch the smugness out of his face.

“Come on.” Akaashi grabbed Sugawara’s arms and veered him away.

They made their way out of the crowd but followed by the personification of antagonizing.

“Who is he?” Akaashi hissed.

“An ex. An annoying one.”

“Fuck.” Akaashi cursed.

“Sorry.” Sugawara whispered. Akaashi wished he could stop walking and tell him it’s not his fault, but the creep had caught up.

“Wait up! You can’t even greet me Sugar?” Akaashi’s mouth twitched at the nickname. Every time he had called him that nickname was now burned from his memory like a photograph in a fire. He would never call him it again. Anger stopped his flee.

“Fuck off.” Akaashi whirled back, leaving Sugawara protected behind him.

The young man flinched and stopped his pursuit. The tension stayed in his shoulders as he spoke.

“What you don’t want to share? Sugar would be alright with it. I mean that’s how you two hooked up right.

You were seduced by that little whore-” Akaashi went to move, but was pushed aside, and Sugawara crossed the space.

Neither Akaashi or the boy expected the split moment of violence.

The teen went to protect his gut from a punch which didn’t come. Sugawara used the boy’s head forward momentum with and his quick right swing to create a KO punch.

Sugawara shook his hand while muttering a curse. Akaashi blinked at the scene. Sugawara just flattened out someone with a single focused punch, and fuck. It was hot.

Akaashi whistled and Sugawara turned to him. His gentle grin contrasted like ice to fire with the unconscious body at his feet. Warm light silhouetted his figure and Akaashi, for the first time in his life, was truly terrified of another human being.

Sugawara was Fire. Beautiful and alluring but dangerous. Only those made of steel could dare reach for him. But still, they could melt.

A voice rang out a name.

Akaashi held his breath as Sugawara ran to him, jerking him into another flee at sprinting pace. The silver haired nymph laughed as they escaped. Akaashi couldn’t see into the darkness, but Sugawara ran into it.

Further and further into the forest, the echo of laughter and legs running through the undergrowth and the hand holding his kept him grounded. Akaashi saw the vague image of stone stairs curling up the mountain side. Sugawara pulled Akaashi along in a strong, trustworthy grip.

Akaashi was a strong willed guy. Every task he set out, he accomplished. He kept his promises and stuck by them, giving him the trait: Honest.

But he hid a side of himself from the world.

A part of him which he had kept under heavy surveillance and locked away. But as he watched Sugawara express his morbid delight out of adrenaline and a possible touch of insanity, he knew the boy had the key.

Sugawara had an abyss of borderline personality disorder thoughts and desire which could trigger that side of Akaashi.

They reached the top of the staircase, which had led to an old shrine, barely kept intact.

Sugawara let go of Akaashi and slumped against a guardian statue.

Akaashi looked behind them panting and then looked at Sugawara. A dark smile played on his lips, while his bruised hand was across his eyes otherwise he’d be staring at the sky.

Akaashi watched him for a second before taking in their surroundings to settle his heartbeat.

His eyes now adjusted to allow the half-moon light up the landscape. Overgrown grass, an unkempt tribute well and a small traditional temple.

“You alright now?” Akaashi half scolded Sugawara. He had stopped chuckling and dropped the hand covering his eyes.

“That was fun.”

Akaashi had so many mixed emotions by this new perception of a potentially sociopathic Sugawara Koushi. Sugawara in the midst of his thoughts had stood and now walked ahead. Akaashi jogged up to him and then went up to the temple. The structure was still very strong, and smelled dry which meant no folded foundations. Akaashi spotted the hanging candle lanterns. Akaashi pulled out his lighter and flicked a flame to life.

The candles flickered as he closed the small glass door.

Sugawara was sitting at the steps, watching Akaashi.

Akaashi put away his lighter and found his spot beside Sugawara’s warmth.

“Where’d you learn that?” Akaashi expected he attended judo or karate lessons in his childhood.

“An older friend taught me basic self defence and how to drop someone with one hit in case I was ever

mobbed.” Sugawara mused.

The swirling sensation in his stomach made the air colder seem colder than it was.

“Well. It was amazing.” Akaashi’s voice wavered.

“Did I scare you Sensei?”

Akaashi wanted to say _fuck yes, you looked like a serial killer,_ but he rolled his eyes. But he did what Akaashi was about to do anyways.

“You just beat me to it.”

“Thanks for trying to defend me.” Sugawara’s voice was void of an negativity. Akaashi accepted his gratitude.

“You deserve to be treated better.” Akaashi’s words cut deeper into Sugawara’s anxieties and his own stupidity than he meant.

He had no right to speak like that when he was only chasing after Sugawara like a hormonal teenager.

Like so many others, but yet, he didn’t want that happening. Sugawara was sweet, nurturing and very caring towards the people close to him. Akaashi knew because the way he talked about his team mates

and the sincerity behind his words at rare moments. When Sugawara was utterly relaxed the true gentle nature of him would appear.

Akaashi’s thoughts halted to a stop. Sugawara slid over. Their hips pressed against each other. A cheeky grin played on his lips. Sugawara’s hand graze up Akaashi’s arm. An instinctive shudder ran down Akaashi’s spine.

“Do you really think that?” He purred. All the sincerity earlier dissolved and Akaashi found himself gritting his teeth.

“Man. You sure can set a mood.” Akaashi huffed.

“It’s one of my specialties.”

Akaashi smirked at and reached across to pull his upper arm. Akaashi smashed their lips together.

Sugawara smirked opening his mouth. Tongues traced one another. Hot moans escaped Sugawara’s throat and echoed in Akaashi's ears. Skin yearned to be touched, bitten, licked. Physical contact didn't seem quite enough for Akaashi Keiji. He wanted to devour the beautiful, sexy boy in front of him. Sugawara linked his arms behind Akaashi’s broad shoulders letting the older man push him down.

***

Akaashi was propped up on his elbows staring down his body to watch Sugawara. Sugawara had pushed him down and moved down to position his head above the bulge in his pants. Those hazel eyes Akaashi might fall in love with stared at him for reaction. Which wasn't good since Akaashi nearly blushed like a goddamn teenager when he bite his fly zipper and slowly pulled it down. The fabric pulled up and squeezed the growing hardness underneath.

Sugawara used one hand to swiftly undo his belt. Akaashi reached down and Sugawara paused when his cold hand caressed his face and a finger pushed along his wet lip.

He used his hand to push down his underwear and pull out his length. The chill bit his sensitive skin for a couple seconds. One gentle hand caressed the base on dark pubic hair. A hot breath made him twitch.

Sugawara's cute little lips caught the head and slowly nuzzled his way down his cock. The older man cursed in English and fucking French.

It was tight at the back of his throat. Sugawara looked up at Akaashi and winked. Akaashi reached out his hand to trail along Sugawara's face then rest on his head to feel it bob up and down.

If he had a heart attack here and now he would surely die. Far off in the wilderness, alone with this incubus and his weak will - it was just a matter of time.

Sugawara's hand moved in his periphery. The boy started to jerk off his own hard on. A moan vibrated through Akaashi's dick.

He grunted and grasped the soft silver hair. Akaashi forgot all the blow jobs he'd had in his life. A hot tongue brought pleasure everywhere it twirled and curled.

It was an absolutely surreal feeling. The heat of Sugawara's mouth when he swallowed him back and then when the lips squeezed around the tip, tongue twirling in contrast to the saliva and other bodily fluids left behind where the cold night was amplified on his skin. Goddamn it, Akaashi wanted to just skull fuck Sugawara into oblivion. But he held back and let the boy torture his dick. A familiar tingling sensation in his toes made Akaashi moan loudly.

Heat travelled from the capillaries all over his body and shot to his abdomen.

"Faster Koushi."

The boy reacted and moved up and down, gagging slightly. All thought processers turned off. All he could feel was intense pleasure wrapped around his body. Akaashi was looking at Sugawara, then his breathing hitched, his toes curled and he was on his back staring at flickering candle light. His post orgasmic state barely processed the loud whine. Akaashi looked down at Sugawara. His neck was arched back over Akaashi's thigh and his back slowly fell from where it had arched. There was white cum dirtying his hands.

Akaashi sat up and fixed up his pants. Sugawara jumped and eyes flew open when a hand petted his head.

"Good work." Akaashi purred. Sugawara smiled at him too innocently for someone who just gave him the best fellatio of his fucking life.

Akaashi leaned down and pecked him on the lips. Sugawara stared at him like he was some alien life form in a lab, but there was twinkle of desperation in his eyes. Like he was expecting Akaashi to tell him the secrets of the universe.

"When do stars shine the brightest?" Sugawara whispered. Akaashi softened and gave a small shake of his head.

"On the darkest nights."

Akaashi stroked Sugawara's head.

"Are you a star?" Sugawara's eyes flickered to the sky.

"Kind of."

They stayed like that, Sugawara curled into Akaashi dozing off to a gentle hand stroking his hair, for God knows how long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just have faith that I really want to get this story out. So I'll be back before you know it.


	7. Blue Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sawamura confronts Akaashi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. I don't understand sexuality and binaries at times. People like who they like and just have sex with whoever as long as it's consensual.

A melodious bird song floated into a vivid dream about volleyball serves and squeaky shoes. Akaashi slowly woke up on the right side of the bed. A warm body was comfortably pressed against his. He blinked at the silver hair under his chin. _Oh. That's right._ Last night.

Sugawara had come home with Akaashi and they got to third base before Akaashi realized he didn't have any condoms or lube. It was the first time he saw Sugawara annoyed, he had an adorable pout.

They opted for jerking off instead. They took a shower and Akaashi had to give Sugawara some clothes to wear to bed. And this is how they got here.

Akaashi deeply inhaled the vanilla and cinnamon scent of Sugawara. It was kind of surreal having the boy here so close, if he weren't sleeping next to him he would've thought the events were some tormenting dream.

He looked up and out the window to see sunlight pouring through the gaps in the trees. Curtains seemed unnecessary at the back of the house when it faced the bottom of a mountain so he hasn't put them up. The scenery was also very lovely, even at night.

"Mnn…" Sugawara stirred and then kneaded at Akaashi's shirt and looked up at him. His eyes looked like the carpet of an autumn forest.

"Oh." Surprise coloured him.

"Good morning angel." Akaashi smiled. Sugawara's face dawned in realization of something.

"Shit." He abruptly sat up. Akaashi sat as Sugawara stood, he grabbed his hand just in time. Sugawara wasn't looking at him.

"What's the hurry?" Akaashi said in a steady voice.

"I should get going."

"I'll drive you. It's a Sunday, you told your parents you were staying at a friend's." Akaashi gave the most logical thought he could. Sugawara sighed and Akaashi let go. There was a long moment and Sugawara hugged his arm.

"That was the first time." Sugawara's voice was so quiet Akaashi nearly missed it. The boy turned around to face him with a serious look on his face.  
"I've never woken up next to anyone in the morning before." Akaashi took this two ways. Either he always left before the sun, or they did.

"I'm not them. We made a deal to erase that bullshit." Akaashi stood and Sugawara looked down. He stepped forward and lifted Sugawara's chin to look him in the eye.

"When it's just us, you don't have to worry about anything. I'm the one who wanted this, you can bail anytime you want." At the last sentence the younger man stiffened and his lip quivered. Akaashi embraced him softly, like he was the only thing from stopping him from falling to pieces.  Akaashi could only thank Bokuto for his younger years of sociology training. Just how deep did the scars run in his heart?

"Thank you." Sugawara murmured into his chest. Akaashi grinned and squeezed him tighter. In that moment they weren't teacher or student, or anything. It was just Keiji and Koushi.

***

Sugawara threw on Akaashi's TV as Akaashi made some breakfast. A lovely day with clear skies was broadcasted. Sugawara huffed at the screen. Akaashi was watching him in the corner of his eyes, showered in morning sunlight filtered through his thin curtains accentuating the crinkles of the shirt he wore and radiating his pale skin.

No camera or artist could capture the beauty of Sugawara in that moment. Akaashi burned the scene deep into his memory before turning back to the omelet to flip.

A few minutes later Sugawara was called to the small circular dining table.

"Wow. Looks good." Sugawara complimented Akaashi. Akaashi smiled and clapped his hands together, "Itadakimasu."

Sugawara followed and started eating.

"Want to play 20 questions?" Akaashi asked. Sugawara looked at him with chopsticks in his mouth and smirked. He took them out and chewed.

"A little childish, isn't it?" Sugawara smirked. Akaashi shrugged and his face softened.

"Fine. Look, this is how it works. You ask a question and give your answer at the end."

"Alright." Akaashi's mind turned over question marks as he ate.

"Favourite colour? Blue." Akaashi started. Sugawara continued eating while leaning toward Akaashi in discussion.

"Red. Favourite season? Spring."

"Summer. Favourite animal? Snowy owl."

"Rabbit. Favourite food? Super spicy mapo tofu."

"Nanohana no Karashiae…" They chatted and joked as they ate their breakfast. Sugawara's favourite ice cream flavour was boysenberry, but he prefers frozen yoghurt. He has no allergies. Dislikes owning fish and birds. Reads plays and science fiction. They finished breakfast with a question and Sugawara helped clean up. Akaashi turned on his radio for the morning station and an old hit came on and they started to sing. Akaashi's consciousness of intimacy in his small kitchen dissolved somewhere in the fun as they bumped hips and sung like they were on a road trip. He was reminded of how Kuroo and Bokuto were when they hung out.

But he and Sugawara weren't best friends. Reality choked him, hitching his voice.

Sugawara stopped for a moment until Akaashi smiled assuring he was okay and then laughed.

If he was going to hell for loving this angel disguised as demon, so be it.

Akaashi and Sugawara dried their hands and went to the lounge room.

"I have PS3 games." Sugawara squatted at Akaashi's chest of video games neatly packed.

He picked out Crash Bandicoot exclaiming he hasn't played it since he was a kid. It was a one player, so they played die by die. Little did Sugawara know Akaashi mastered this game when he was 14. Sugawara implied he was cheating which made Akaashi laugh and effortlessly defeated the boss. They started at a good ruler distance between them, but Sugawara was hanging off his arm as they reached level 8. He nearly fucked up on a jump as the boy snuggled closer.

"Are you trying to make me lose?" Akaashi smiled down at Sugawara.

"You have amazing muscles. Do you work out?"

"Yeah. Cardio and weight training."

So they sat like lovebirds in a nest playing Crash Bandicoot till lunch.

***

Monday rolled around and Akaashi skipped instead of walking. He spent all Saturday with Sugawara and finished marking all the tests on Saturday and finished his Excursion plan to hand to the Faculty head. He was told in his university days nothing hypes kids like an excursion before the exam period. His third years had mid semester exams coming up, so a good three-day camp would be to clear their minds.

Sugawara had an important match coming up. He told him it was against a formidable team in the region. Akaashi would wish him good luck on the day.

Akaashi was humming to himself as he walked into the staffroom and cut it off when he saw people.

He printed off the plan and had a cup of Chai tea as he enjoyed the beautiful weather outside. The wind danced with the trees scented with the anticipation of spring. A beautiful, bright day.

Akaashi made his way to homeroom and greeted them before class started. He had a bit more energy in him and it seemed to show in stirring up the class with his reciting of epic poetry.

He had a free period between recess and lunch so he watched the sports field from his classroom. Sugawara was dressed in his sports gear playing soccer. He was aggressive and played on the same team as Sawamura. Sugawara was quick on his feet and cautious in his passes. He wasn't smiling and laughing but he looked focused on the game.

The boy saw Akaashi watching. He smirked, Akaashi huffed. So damn cheeky.

He left to the library and pick up a book very quickly. On the way back with book in hand he heard Sugawara's name. In the corridor, a group of boys were gossiping. Akaashi leaned against a wall out of sight and listened in.

"Didn't he reject you?" Boy A said.

"Yeah. Never did that before. He probably is all worn out and gross anyways." Boy B added.

"Never stopped you before." Boy C snickered.

"Shut up. But I wouldn't be surprised if he's fucking the entire volleyball team." Lies. Sugawara saw them like family. He told Akaashi endless stories about his idiot kouhei and the volleyball matches.

"Sawamura-kun is his friend right. Maybe they're going out?"

"Nah, Daichi and that girl from class C have something."

"What about that young teacher?" They must be talking about him.

Well, it's not the first time he's suspected of sleeping with a teacher. "It'll be my first time with a teacher." Akaashi trusted Sugawara with those words at least. High school could be a living hell, Sugawara had set up a decent social network with his team and was polite to the teachers. He just didn't bother to get along with his classmates.

Sugawara told him he didn't see his classmates as friends. Akaashi's lip twitched in annoyance.

"He's pretty hot but I don't think he'd settle for that guy."

"He called him 'Sugar'. He got me to call me him that when we-" Akaashi made a small jump on the stairs and then walked into their gaze. He nodded at them and they bowed their heads back as he walked passed.

Fuck. Akaashi gritted his teeth. A vein protruded from his temple. He wanted to burn that word into nothing. Even the raw sugar next to his tea and coffee containers aggravated at times. Sugawara Koushi had set up a ridiculously good reputation for himself. Men and women whispering, moaning, screaming his alias fogged Akaashi's mind. The same alias he told Akaashi to call him. It was a mistake to even say it in the first place. But if he didn't, he wouldn't have gotten this far. Sugawara would hold no interest in him if he didn't give the boy excitement at the start.

It was like finding out the real stories behind those timeless Disney princess stories. As if Ariel, herself did the impossible by finding the man she loved just to turn into sea foam. But Sugawara was not grotesque like the way he tried to get people to view him, how he was distorted in the judging minds of others. Sugawara was beautiful. He cared a lot about others, but didn't care what they thought about him. He was gentle and affectionate.  But he was flawed like a crack in an otherwise pristine gem. Like anyone wasn't flawless. Akaashi wasn't perfect despite how others saw him.

Smart, athletic, hardworking, good looking. People usually viewed human personality as a 2D shape, which was incorrect. People had multiple sides, many face, hundreds of falsities and hundreds of truths.

A girl broke up with him because he outright told her he was more interested in her body. A good collection of porn videos on his 16GB USB sat on the shelf of his computer cabinet. In the second grade, he let his classmate get bullied and ignored it because it wasn't any of his business. Hell, Sugawara with all his sexual prowess still probably didn't deserve an elite pervert like Akaashi hitting on him. Akaashi rolled in his own self contempt for a few moments before sighing it out.

Akaashi Keiji agreed with his internal rage to cut sugar out his diet.

***

The relaxing chime indicated lunch after Akaashi had already settled at his desk at the teacher lounge. A slightly older female history teacher started to chat with him. Another teacher joined in on a discussion about ancient Greek architecture just as a name rang out, "Sawamura-kun."

Akaashi looked at the doorway to meet the dark eyes that were staring at him with intent.

"Sorry. Akaashi-Sensei told me to come by at lunch." Sawamura dipped his chin telling Akaashi to follow along. Akaashi smiled and stood, "Ah, sorry I was in a discussion and forgot momentarily. Excuse us."

Sawamura stood in the doorway as Akaashi approached, stepping back to let the teacher walk passed and he followed into step. A respective silence hung around them as Akaashi led them to an empty science classroom set up in a chemical experiment. Beakers filled with coloured chemicals reflected the minimal light, the air smelled funny but the door had good lock and the room was sound proof.

Akaashi sat on a desk and waited for Sawamura to choose a spot and he took standing as an option. Akaashi shifted as he started to speak.

"I've known Suga since we were in primary school. He was more energetic and extroverted back then. We used to tell each other everything. These days he won't even tell me what he's thinking about." Sawamura didn't break eye contact, searching Akaashi for small responses without asking.

"It was second year middle school he went quiet. One day I saw the bruises on his neck, as if he was choked. He still smiled and told me everything was okay and always showed up to practice. He's never stayed over at my house since that year. I couldn't stop him from doing what he wanted, he's so damn stubborn." The young man showed teeth and looked away.

"Why'd you bring me here Sawamura-kun?" Sawamura looked back up at Akaashi. Scrutiny took over his features and Akaashi sat still.

"How do you feel about Sugawara?" He asked Akaashi the question he's been thinking about daily. He was attracted to him, he was possessive of him but that's just a sort of lust. But there's moments where Akaashi has an overwhelming feeling to embrace him and protect him from the world. But he can't just say that outright to a student. He was already walking on the edge of a death welcoming cliff.

"He's just-"

"Be honest." Sawamura's voice raised. Akaashi tilted his head back  and then rested his hand on his face and breathed through his fingers. He relaxed and looked Sawamura in the eyes.

"I care about him. As a person." Akaashi answered honestly.

"I can't help him. He won't let me because he probably knows I can't. But I think you can." Sawamura's voice was barely audible.

"Please help Sugawara. He needs you." Fist clenched, tears welling and Akaashi confirmed Sugawara wasn't special to just him alone. Sugawara didn't let on anything was wrong with him except his behaviour on occasion. His gut was telling him the same thing his heart was.

"I will." Akaashi stood and nodded. The tension in Sawamura's shoulders dissolved slightly as he bowed.

"Thank you." He stood up and gave him a wobbly smile.

"You're an amazing friend Sawamura. Sugawara knows it too." Akaashi put his hand on the boy's hard shoulder and gave it a squeeze of assurance. Sawamura nodded. They walked out of the test room mutual friends.

***

Sugawara had no practice today so they met after school at the routine place at Akaashi's car.

Sugawara's hair was a bit curlier than usual. It tufted out at the ends and added a moe moe effect to his already gentle face.

They got in the car and Akaashi turned on the vehicle and simultaneously blasted the CD he had on in the morning. Sugawara jumped and Akaashi choked up his heart as he fumbled to turn the rock metal screeching off. His heart was beating out of his chest and he looked at Sugawara to find the similar reaction and they laughed at the stupidity of it all.

Akaashi straightened up, reversed and forwarded on.

"You shouldn't wear a tie Sensei." Sugawara was looking at him from the edge of his periphery.

"What else am I gonna tie you up with if necessary?" Akaashi retorted. A opened mouth gasp of disbelief was a reply.

"Sensei has a suit kink."

"I have many kinks."

"Oh?"

"Do you want to find out?"

"Yeah actually." Akaashi glanced over at Sugawara's signature, seductive smirk and felt his heart flutter.

"Obviously riding bareback isn't one of them." Sugawara noted.

"I didn't have condoms. You should be somewhat happy." Akaashi said. He forgot to pick them up on occasion knowing he might need them soon.

"You're a handsome 27 year old man with a good job and car and you're not expecting to get laid. I worry."

"You think I'm handsome."

"Sexy too. Although most of the time you can be pretty annoying."

"Pot meet kettle." Akaashi laughed.

"But that's not the reason I like you so much." Sugawara sighed.

"Well, why do you like me?"

"I always disliked catching the bus."

"You like me for my car!!"

Sugawara laughed til he was cackling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished 4 assessments in 1 week. I'm happy not be six feet under. Writing this and essays have frustrated me because somehow it takes me a solid hour to write a decent 200 words for an essay yet I can type up like 1500 words of fanfic in that same time. UGH. Akaboi is a perv. Yes we all a bit pervy.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the update. Xx


	8. Dress to Undress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School Cultural festival.  
> The volleyball clubs are sworn to secrecy about their event.  
> Class 3-C rules out Akaashi's fate in the Homeroom Teacher Costume Competition.  
> Everyone enjoys the festivities  
> NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I got up to 3000 words. It's ridiculous. But totally worth it.

Tuesday

Sugawara slid his bag off his shoulder the desk in front of his. He played with the hem of his school top in boredom. If he closed his eyes while laughing, he truly found it humorous. He wrote notes in a blue notebook. While walking, he kept his posture confident but he was light footed. When thinking of something funny the right corner of his lips would tug upwards for a second. His navy blue wool gloves fit perfectly.

Akaashi avoided watching Sugawara lately because of the student's suspicion. He was sure no one ever caught him, but there was still a chance. God knows how percipient teenage girls can be.

Like right now, in class, Akaashi waited till everyone was looking down and he angled himself so he wouldn't have to move his head to look up. He kept typing while his eyes admired the silver haired angel in room. Sugawara chewed on the tip of his pen while staring at his writing. Akaashi took in the velvet smooth lips, sharp hazel eyes adorned by thick eyelashes, the gentle slope of his nose that matches the softness of his jaw. His long, slender fingers gripped the pen and moved smoothly across the page. His pale neck twisted ever so slightly as he concentrated. Slim legs were crossed at the ankle.

Akaashi looked back to his note book tablet to see the paragraph he wrote.

The magnificent tune of the bell went and everyone put down their pens and packed.

Akaashi announced, "After the break we're voting on what we're doing for the cultural festival in two weeks. Class President Tono, you'll be speaking."

"Yes Sensei." The class chimed.

Akaashi's eyes found Sugawara's for a moment as he packed up and left his students.

***

"Maid Café!"

"Coffee Shop!"

"Maze!"

"Face Painting."  
"Host Club."

The students were throwing out ideas for what the club should run during the cultural festival. The Vice-President was furiously typing the suggestions on his laptop while the President stood out the front encouraging creativity.

"We should do something new!" One girl said. Mutters and agreements.

"It's too hard…" Someone else complained.

"What about cake?" The Vice President blurted. Everyone looked at him and he blushed.

"That's a good idea." Akaashi interjected. The class mulled it over.

"Yeah, we could make cupcakes!" The class president clicked her fingers.

"Decorating class!"

The class bubbled up in noisy excitement.

"Alright. A Cupcake Class."

"It's okay on the school class forum." The vice said looking at his laptop.

The class agreed to do a cupcake class. If they all make 20 cupcakes each, with various chosen recipes it'll work out.

"Now, who's not going to be involved throughout the day?"

Five students raised their hands. One was Sugawara.

Sport Clubs.

"Hey!" Vice President light up. The whole class froze.

"What is it?"

"We're doing a Homeroom teacher costume competition!"

Akaashi smiled open mouthed and rubbed his face.

"Sensei?" The President was smiling at him expectantly.

"Sounds great." He replied. The class cheered. The girls yelled out suggestions all the while a certain boy was smirking like a jackal.

***

Wednesday Night

**Sugawara**

What are you dressing up as for the competition? 9:01pm

Someone awesome. 9:01pm

Oh come on. 9:02pm

Give up ... How'd it go with Sawamura? 9:02pm

We made up. I apologized first. It was hard trying to avoid him. 9:02pm

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Good. He really cares about you. 9:03pm

I know. 9:03pm

What is the volleyball club doing for the cultural festival? 9:04pm

You'll find out. 9:04pm

Oh, is it embarrassing? 9:05pm

You'll find out. 9:06pm

I'm looking forward to it. 9:06pm

***

Two weeks later. Friday.

Karasuno High School Cultural Festival.

The classroom was arranged in six tables that could fit eight. 300-yen Entry and cupcake, 100-yen Kids. Every student baked 20-30 cupcakes. 10 students baked vanilla cupcakes, 2 made them rainbow, another did 40 small kid cupcakes. Every other student did all diverse types from chocolate - gluten free. They stocked up on pipes, icing and decorations. One of the student's brought in the decided two levelled, decorated cake that will be raffled. Second hand aprons and bed sheets were used.

Akaashi helped move furniture and make sure everyone was okay. The gates were open from 9am-6pm. It was 8:45 and stragglers came in and put down their cupcakes. The Vice President was put in charge of the cupcake numbers and money. Sugawara already came by and put down his large container of cupcakes and helped move furniture before running off to his club.

In the last two weeks, no one had heard what the boys' volleyball club were planning. Sports clubs were very secretive with the festivals and kept the other students on their toes. It was a clever idea to excite the students.

Akaashi had something else to worry about.

"Akaashi-Sensei." One of the girls chimed. A group were huddled as they walked up to him. Dread capture his body and he couldn't flee. Everyone in the room was watching as one of the girls held out the bag. He took it and they all relaxed.

"I expect full marks." He joked and they laughed. Although he was half serious. If Bokuto or Kuroo witnessed him wearing this, he'd never hear the end of it. A ridiculous thought of them suddenly appearing to watch the show popped into his mind before he wiped it away. They'd cheer or gawk, either way it'd be recorded and kept for his funeral.

Akaashi placed the bag near his belongs in the corner with the student's bags.

An hour later he went for a wander as the kids had it under control. He took a pamphlet and searched for the volleyball club.

Akaashi made his way to the North Wing classroom. Everything was noisy, fun and colourful. Akaashi remember how busy these days were in Tokyo, it was ridiculous. It was calm and pleasant compared to the rush back then.

He reached it and saw a line coming out. He walked to the front to see the entrance and nearly fell over when he saw Nishinoya Yuu.

The small second year was decked out in a fluffy maid outfit and his hair was styled with pins. The girl next to him wore a butler suit.

 **BOYS AND GIRLS VOLLEYBALL CLUB SWITCH MAID CAFÉ** \- was hung above the door.

"Oh my God." Akaashi whispered. He wanted to peer inside to glimpse a head of silver, but instead queued up.

10 minutes later he was at the front.

"Akaashi-sensei! Good morning." Nishinoya said. With that height and thing legs he pulled off the skirt beautifully. Even though if anyone called him cute, he'd probably punch them in the face.

"Good morning Nishinoya-kun. Nice idea."

"It's a new idea Kiyoko and the girl's team came up with." He shrugged.

"It's interesting."

"Well, let's go!" Nishinoya said and he and the girl said, "Welcome Master."

Akaashi entered and looked around. It was nearly full, Nishinoya guided him to a two-seated table. Akaashi didn't see Sugawara yet. But he did see Sawamura in a cute dark blue maid outfit which only accentuated his broad chest and buff arms.

"Someone will serve you soon."

"Thanks, Nishinoya-kun." With a bow Nishinoya skipped back to the entrance. He picked up the menu and read through the simple dishes and desserts. They were a decent price.

After a minute, he was approached.

"What would like Master?" Akaashi folded the menu down and looked up at an angel in light blue.

Sugawara wore a Lolita style, blue maid outfit with a choker, head piece and cuffs. Akaashi looked down to his legs were white thigh high socks squeezed tender flesh.

"You." Akaashi whispered. Sugawara put his hand on his hips, leaning his body so slightly.

"Sorry, not on the menu today."

"Yakisoba." Akaashi answered and scanned his eyes appreciatively up and down Sugawara as he scribbled it on a notebook.

"Anything else? Green tea? Soda?"

"Iced tea. Thank you. Oh, can you do the cute dere dere thing?" Akaashi placed his arm on the back of the chair. Sugawara violently scribbled while his eyes penetrated Akaashi's intentions.

"You got it, Master." Sugawara let the last word drop like honey off his lips.

Akaashi watched Sugawara walk away. His natural hip swing made the skirt bounce up revealing skin between the skirt and socks. He took a napkin, folded it in half and ripped it. An urge to bend him over the goddamn table and make him moan surged through Akaashi.

Akaashi got out his phone and text Bokuto. He told him about the Festival earlier and got a bunch of questions.

As he pressed send, Sugawara was back. He had a tray with a balancing glass of ice tea. The tall glass was place slowly in front of Akaashi. Sugawara winked and left him. Akaashi psychologically grabbed his heart before it jumped out of his chest.

As the minutes passed Akaashi noticed the attention Sugawara was getting. There were four maids and four butlers going around to the tables serving. Hinata Shoyou wore an incredibly cute yellow maid dress with gold highlights. He was a walking ray of sunshine. There was also Daichi who mainly watched and spoke to a girl butler with short hair. 

 Sugawara was the best, by bias. He gave the customers a smile and good manners. Then it happened.

Akaashi noticed two boys checking out Sugawara as he served the table beside them. They were snickered and looking up and down Sugawara. One reached out his dirty hand and ran it up the back of his leg. Akaashi saw red.

Sugawara spun around and grabbed the culprit's wrist.

"Don't touch what you can't afford asshole."

"What's going on?" Daichi rushed over. Sugawara explained the event and the two guys were about to run, Akaashi got up.

"I saw it. You two, come with me." Akaashi grabbed them by the collar.

"But first, apologize to Sugawara-kun and everyone here for your behaviour." Akaashi glared at the two.

"We're sorry for our rudeness." They bowed half by force.

"Thanks Sensei." Daichi said. Akaashi nodded at the two and then led the two rat bags out. He was tempted to drag them to the bathroom and wash their hands and eyes.

Back at the office, they were given over to the vice principle. Akaashi explained it and the boys got lectured. Akaashi got let go and he made his way back, walking down a empty hallway, he sighed. Then someone yanked his shirt and him into an empty classroom.

Sugawara closed the door behind them and locked it. Akaashi found his feet just as Sugawara man grabbed him once again, pulling his face down. Their lips crashed together and Akaashi's hands found Sugawara's body. Akaashi's fluid mental processes grinded to a halt. Sugawara slipped his tongue in to meet Akaashi's. Akaashi moaned into the kiss, moving with the rhythm of their bodies immediate desire.

"You look, so, sexy." Akaashi strung together between their messy kiss.

"Thanks." Sugawara huffed. Sugawara pulled him again to the supply closet, turned on the light and shut the door with his foot.

Akaashi's hands explored the cotton material on top of muscle and down, up and under ruffles. Sugawara pulled back, cheeks tinged pink. The air in the small room was humid and scarce of oxygen when the boy parted his lips, trailing his hand down Akaashi's torso.

"Sensei. I have a confession."

"What is it?" Akaashi's hands stopped on his warm, slim hips rubbing circles.

Languid hazel eyes drew in all of Akashi's focus. He parted his lips sinfully before biting them. Sugawara craned his neck in submission while grabbing Akaashi's hand and sliding it to just above his arse and under a weird string. He was slipping between reality and eroge fantasy. Akaashi followed the string up to find all his prayers had been answered. A small electronic box was taped high up the costume. Akaashi tugged on the string and Sugawara bent into him with a light moan.

"How long?" Akaashi's digit pulled along it till the tension at the base was just enough so the love egg nestled inside wouldn't move.

"Since I put on this outfit." Sugawara's eyes fluttered.

"You bad boy." Akaashi pressed his hardness against Sugawara's through the puffy material.

 A moan dropped from the boy's mouth and Akaashi tugged on the string.

"Punishment is in order." Akaashi spoke.

Sugawara looked up as Akaashi handed undid his tie with one hand. The boy in his arms willingly let his wrists be tied together. Akaashi turned him by the hips so he was leaning against a waist high cabinet. Akaashi pulled back Sugawara's hips and the skirt puffed out revealing everything.

A sweet puckered hole swallowing the cord. Akaashi pushed his half-mast against Sugawara's leg.

"Sensei." Sugawara pleaded.

"What do you want Sugawara?"

"Your cock. I want you inside me." A violent shiver ran through Akaashi's nervous system. The world between adult, child, student, teacher blurred and all was left was a skin coloured palette of lust. Akaashi would probably regret doing this now, but he gathered every tidbit of self-restraint. He leaned over Sugawara, one hand curving under his chest.

"What makes you think you deserve it." Akaashi whispered into his ear.

Sugawara trembling poured satisfaction into Akaashi's smile. He groped Sugawara's chest and found his nipple.

Akaashi squeezed his hardening nipple and used his foot to slide Sugawara's foot out slightly.

It hurt how hard his dick was. Sugawara wanted to grind back to force Akaashi to give him what he wanted, but it was too late when he felt the small foreign object against his prostate jerk out.

"Argh.. Ahhhh…" He squeaked.

"Shhhh… if you're loud I won't let you come."

"I dare you." Sugawara huffed, with not real venom. Akaashi sprouted horns and grinned like the devil he was.

Akaashi slowly pulled the love egg out with a satisfying, wet POP. It buzzed in mid-air and Akaashi wondered if it was the highest setting. He carefully peeled the tape from Sugawara's lower back. Sugawara was consumed by the emptiness within him and the demon hand on his belly.

Akaashi wrapped around Sugawara's stiff length and begun pumping it. Sugawara craned his neck back in satisfaction while clenching his fists.

It was mean, he knows, not just too Sugawara but to himself. Akaashi placed two fingers on the top of Sugawara's arse and slid down to circle his arsehole.

"FUCK!" Sugawara's knees started shaking as Akaashi played with the lubricated head of his dick.

Finally, a finger entered the wet heat of Sugawara. It probed and searched for the G-Spot. Sugawara felt a shock of pleasure currented through him, he squeezed his hands so much it hurt. Akaashi carefully inserted another digit and teased Sugawara's prostate till foul mouthed insults were pouring out his mouth. Sugawara was fully aware now that the man wasn't going to fuck him, even if he went to the trouble. He had a flashback to a certain play like this, but that guy had no patience compared to the evil Adonis of a bastard mercilessly fingering his arse and squeezing his balls.

"Sensei, I want to come."

"Try."

Sugawara arched and he let himself go to the quickening pace of the fingers within and around him. The tingling in his toes was copied in his fingers and pooled to his stomach. Akaashi pulled out his fingers, grabbing Sugawara's arm and looping his tied arms around his neck. Sugawara stood on his toes and pulled on Akaashi's shirt, moaning as his release surged forth.

A rude thumb pressed hard on his slit, blocking the exit for his cum. His knees gave in and sobs racked his body. His dick felt full and empty at the same time.

"Akaashi-san."

"You were too loud." Akaashi licked Sugawara's ear. His cries were euphoric. Akaashi held his waist so he could stand.

"If you want to come, say you like me."

Sugawara heard the words, but his body didn't act appropriately as it twisted to lock lips. The kiss was hot, messy and needy as Sugawara. They parted with a line of saliva.

"I like you." Sugawara's eyes sparkled. Akaashi's breath hitched and he looked at Sugawara like he was the most precious thing on Earth.

He nuzzled his neck and jerked Sugawara with both hands. He came in Akaashi's hands.

Akaashi leaned forward allowing Sugawara untangled himself. The older man grabbed a tissue box allocated close by and wiped his hands then undid the tie.

"Sorry about that." He kissed the boy's soft hands after realizing just how much strain his wrists endured.

Sugawara smiled and took his hands.

"Well." Sugawara plucked tissues and cleaned his legs. The toy that had dropped to the ground, Sugawara scooped it up, quickly cleaning it before wrapping it in a fresh tissue and stuffing it in the pocket of his apron.

"I'll see you later." Sugawara titled his head innocently. Before Akaashi could protest, he fled out the door like a wood land pixie. Akaashi was left in the storage room which a raging boner and a box of tissues. Who the hell is meant to be the high schooler?

***

The irony of the day continued in Akaashi's disdain. He stared at himself in the mirror and wondered what his mother would think of him. There was 5 minutes till he was meant to be walking on stage with the rest of the staff involved. It wasn't long enough.

He picked up his masculinity and pride and walked at steadily as he could in the red heels to the line-up. His fellow staff members gawked.

"Akaashi-san. That's…"

"My student tailored it for me." He sighed. Akaashi stood with his hand on his hip, the tingle of the long black wig on his lower waist.

"You look great!" One of the women said.

"Thank you." He replied. The music started and they stopped fangirling over him and lined up.

It was all music changes and he was lucky last out of 15.

There were cowboys, geisha, Gods, cats, fairy tale character… but nothing like Akaashi's costume. He heard the musical tune that will haunt him for the rest of his life. He cursed Eiko-chan several times. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be leaked online.

"Number 15! Class 3-C, Akaashi-Sensei, as Sailor Mars!" Akaashi strutted out into blinding lights and deafening cheers with the most artificial smile in the world.

***

**Sugawara**

_Video sent_ 3:00pm

YOU LOOK CUTE SENSEI <3 3:01pm

Five hours later…

Thanks. 8:00pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEED: Excess fanart of Akaashi cross dressing as Sailor Senshi, chocolate, feedback on chapter because I am not confident about writing smut.  
> Lol, even tell me where you think I'm going with this. Comment, Kudos highly appreciated <3


	9. Brazen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi confesses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading

"Finally." Akaashi panted.

He planted his feet on the summit and sat up on his mountain bike. The weather was mild and it was the perfect day for a bike ride, at least that's what he thought this morning. After a three and half-an-hour climb over the ranges to the closest sea town, he wasn't sure if he could pedal all the way back this afternoon. He kind of wanted run away from the memory of yesterday's cosplay fiasco. He will be harassed for the next month.

The sea was like a giant orange, moving mirror reflecting light upon the expansive scenery. A chilled breeze leftover from the night brushed passed Akaashi and he inhaled it gratefully. It would be a hot damn day.

***

Arriving at the pier at Ishinomaki, Akaashi unmounted his bike and looked at his watch. 10:13AM. It took three hours to get here.

Akaashi walked along with his bike, choosing not to leave it unattended.

The town was nice, he was pretty sure that strong high school volleyball team was located around here. He remembers them from years ago, Seijoh, the Blue Castle. Sugawara mentioned they're stronger than every with a pretty boy setter. Akaashi smirked at the term. It had been a nickname given to him in the past, according to his teammates.

A lady walked passed with a dog. It went to sniff Akaashi but the owner was intent on keeping them moving.

Akaashi ventured around the new landscape and took a couple pictures. It was lunch time when he found a nice Ramen shop with a good lunch deal. He looked around as he headed to the counter, if was half full of mostly teenagers. Not that he minded, he was surrounded by them all the time. Akaashi ordered and went to a booth seat. He pulled out his phone and saw three texts from Sugawara. Memes. Akaashi grinned at the idiocy.

He was replying when two teenage guys were arguing as they sat in the booth next to him. He looked up at the pair. They were both very handsome and one seemed more pissed off than the other. The happier one with a smile then looked at him. Recognition flashed in his eyes and then he looked back at the other boy.

They sat and then the guy leaned closer to the other to whisper something. The spiky headed one was sitting in his position in the booth, so they weren't facing each other.

"Um, excuse me?" The handsome teen that looked at Akaashi peered over the other.

"Idiot!" The other cursed.

"Are you Akaashi Keiji, the volleyball player?" Oh.

"Yes." The kid light up and his friend turned around.

"Sorry, I'm Oikawa Tooru. I'm the setter for Aoba Johsai, and this is my teammate and best friend." He looked at the spiky haired one. Ah, pretty boy setter. Akaashi could definitely see it. Curly style hair, nice skin and bright eyes, he deserved to be called 'ikemen'.

"Iwaizumi Hajime, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you. Wow, I'm surprised you still remember me." Akaashi smiled.

"Can we join you?"

And that's how Akaashi ended up having lunch with a rival volleyball teams third years players. Iwaizumi was listening while Oikawa asked most of the questions about volleyball.

"What are you doing now?"

"I'm a Literature teacher at Karasuno high school." Akaashi's words made the boy scowl.

"Tobio-chan's high school."

"The volleyball team is doing great this year. I heard about their match against you." Akaashi couldn't help but look for a rise. It was just too funny to watch the guy start pouting.

"Kageyama Tobio is our junior. He's learned from Oikawa, but he's a genius setter." Iwaizumi filled in. Ah. So that's it.

"Well, looks like he learned from the best." Akaashi said. The food arrived as the pretty boy setter went sparkly from being complimented.

"Akaashi-sannn!!" Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa before he leapt over the table.

"Settle down!"

"Ow Iwa-chan." Oikawa grinned. Akaashi looked between them. They must be going out.

"It's a shame since Mr.Fresh is a third year on Karasuno." Oikawa sighed.

"Sugawara?" Akashi asked. The two looked at him and then at each other.

"Yeah." Oikawa continued.

"He's well known." Iwaizumi added looking at his bowl.

"What do you mean?" Akaashi pressed, snapping his chopsticks.

"There's rumours about that guy all around the place. He's been with a lot of people. My senpai last year had something weird going on with the guy." Oikawa grimaced.

"He's a good kid." Akaashi defended his reputation in the slightest. Iwaizumi smiled while Oikawa looked surprised.

"Actually, I have seen him around here before. It was a while ago, but I think he might have relatives or something here." Oikawa looked back.

"Hmm."

Oikawa asked more questions and then got a selfie with Akaashi and they went their separate ways after paying. Akaashi watched the two carry on as they walked away. Cute.

Akaashi unlocked his bike and then gently ride along and hoped off at the market area.

It was a moment where the world stops. Déjà vu hits you like a train and irony laughs at you. Akaashi looked across the stalls to see Sugawara talking with an older man. The silver hair, hazel eyes, mature look outside of town.

Dread seeped into Akaashi's skin, muscle, nerves, to his bone marrow. _No. No. It's not…_

Akaashi stalked them the best he could, until they went around a corner and he lost them. He pulled out his phone and took a deep breathe to calm his fingers.

* * *

**Sugawara**

What are you up to? 1:20PM

Spending time with my family. Text you later Xx 1:20PM

* * *

 

Akaashi stuffed his phone into his bag. _Fuck!_

He was seeing people.

_No._

Akaashi calmed himself again. He couldn't just jump to conclusions. Memories of the soft Sugawara blinded his mind's eye. He had to trust that gentle voice telling him he'd keep the deal. The deal.

Akaashi leaned against the cold wall of the alley and clenched his fists til it hurt as badly as he felt. Frustration sourced from the unknown. Akaashi didn't know Sugawara like he wanted. He couldn't tell if he was lying. He didn't know the boy's family. He didn't know why he agreed. He didn't know when he had fallen in love with him.

Hysterics bubbled from Akaashi's core, overflow in the form of maniacally laughter. Akaashi laughed so hard he had to leaned his back against the wall to keep upright.

He was in love with Sugawara.

***

Monday was in Akaashi's face before he could blink. He pulled aside a student from another Third Year class to get Sawamura. Sawamura saw him and nodded. They went outside this time, Akaashi tapped his foot instead of lighting a cigarette. He already had half his packet yesterday. Too much nicotine. He should quit.

"I have a few questions about Sugawara." Akaashi started and continued after Sawamura nodded.

"What's his family really like?" Sawamura took a moment to answer.

"He's an only child. His mum is nice and Dad is always busy. Sugawara keeps a lot from them, so they see him as a perfect son. But his mum had chronic depression once, so Sugawara doesn't like to bother her. They don't get along with their extended family. He has grandparents on his Dad's side but has only met them a handful of time. He has a cat named Sam."

"Why did he sleep around?" Akaashi spoke slowly. Sawamura sighed and leaned against the building.

"I've only known him since high school. But we were in the same Primary school together. Something happened during middle school. I don't know what, but I think someone did something to him." Grim covered Sawamura's features.

"Did something?"

"He was one of the cheekiest, happiest kids I knew. In middle school, he didn't do volleyball for a year. Then the rumours were made. It was the worst in first year high school. I don't know much more." Akaashi looked up at the sky.

"Say it was someone, who do you think it was?"

Sawamura looked at the ground, remembering.

"One time, in first year, we were at a park. Someone came to pick Sugawara up. He looked really scared. I've never seen him so terrified. It was a guy, a bit older than us. He left with him and went home. I asked him who it was, he said don't worry about it."

Akaashi's imagination went off the rails. He imagined Sugawara being abused by a kid his age. But surely, he could fight back. It shouldn't be that complicated.

"So, this kid. Is the reason Sugawara being like this?"

"What do you mean 'like this'?" Sawamura stood up, glaring at Akaashi. Akaashi put up his hand in peace.

"Whoa. I didn't mean it like that. He's hurt." Akaashi elaborated. Sawamura looked him up and down like a threat.

"I'm not going to hurt him. I'm trying to figure this shit out." Akaashi face palmed.

"On the weekend, I saw him with an older guy in Ishinomaki." Akaashi explained. Sawamura paled and cursed.

"Look, in the past few months, since he's been with you. I've seen him smiling a lot more. I'm grateful for that." Sawamura looked at Akaashi head on. Akaashi nodded.

"You do an excellent job looking out for him." He added. The two in mutual care for Sugawara smiled.

***

Sugawara came back from the bathroom to a classroom empty of his peers. Akaashi sat on his desk playing with his fingers.

His nerves were shaking, everything felt tense. It was the most nervous Akaashi had ever been in his life, nothing could compare to the sensation of hyperawareness. Everything was alive.

"So, sensei, what did you want to talk about?" Sugawara sat on a desk with a playful smile. His gorgeous voice showed no hostility. A horrible contrast to Akaashi’s feelings.

"I went for a bike ride on Saturday to Ishinomaki." Akaashi watched the boy's eyes widen. Here we go.

"I saw you there. Before I sent you a text. You said you were with family." Akaashi's voice was monotone. Understanding veiled over Sugawara. Akaashi felt his stomach being tied into a knot.

"I was spending the day with my Godparents. If you saw me out, I was probably with my Godfather getting groceries for my Godmother." Sugawara's voice was edged with ice. Akaashi wanted to throw himself out a window. He wasn't lying.

"You thought I was going, around didn't you?" Sugawara smiled, his eyes were stony. Akaashi sighed.

"I can't fucking believe it." Sugawara stood.

"You're a bastard. I said I wouldn't sleep with anyone but you. I thought you-" Sugawara cut himself off with deep breathes. Akaashi stood and walked towards Sugawara, who took a step back, glaring daggers at Akaashi.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"Thought. Yeah. People do that. They think, they imagine and then they gossip."

"You really haven't slept with anyone since we made that deal?" Akaashi asked quietly. Sugawara relaxed slightly. Is this what he was meant to do to the person he loved? Akaashi didn’t know the answer.

"A week after, I tried to hook up with someone. I couldn't do it." Sugawara was looking far away, he slowly hugged himself. Akaashi's throat was dry, his gut hurt and he wanted to puke.

"Sugawara, I'm sorry. I didn't-”

"No!" Sugawara shouted. Akaashi felt his heart thump. _Why was he so fucking upset?_ Surely he expected this. Fuck. Akaashi cursed himself for expecting more from a teenager. He probably wasn’t fully aware of just how bad his reputation really was.

"You don't tell me anything." Akaashi said. Sugawara looked straight at him. Hazel judged navy blue.

"I don't know anything about you. When I feel like I do know you, you slip straight through my fingers like sand. It's horrible. What happened to you Sugawara?" Akaashi stepped closer. Hazel glistened over by tears. Sugawara was shaking like a leaf.

Akaashi faltered. _I love him. Do I really love him?_

"It's funny. Because I've told you more about me than anyone else." Sugawara laughed and dropped his arms. 

"I can't do this." Sugawara violently shook his head. In a split second, he grabbed his bag and went to walk out. Akaashi rushed and grabbed his arm.

"What?" Sugawara spun on him.

"I'm sorry." Akaashi blurted. Sugawara looked at him like a moron.

"What, you still want to have sex?" Sugawara's sarcasm was angry. It was ugly compared to his usually playful tone. His eyes were sharp and he reminded Akaashi of a caged wild animal. Panic filled Akaashi.

"That's not it." Akaashi stuttered. The words couldn’t join into a sentence. Before he could go on, Sugawara pulled his tie and crashed their lips together. He was tripped back and landed on his butt. Sugawara pushed him down in the isle. Sugawara pulled back, with a trail of saliva between their lips.

"Fine." Sugawara unbuttoned his shirt. Akaashi went to sit and then Sugawara pushed him back down by the throat.

"This was the whole deal right.  You sleep with me and I won't do it with anyone else. If you don't fuck me here and now, I'll find someone else who can." Sugawara's whole demeanour was threatening. He was hurt and lashing out, it was Akaashi's fault. Akaashi looked Sugawara in the eye. Akaashi looked into his scarred soul, and saw the gentle process of recovery. Sugawara didn’t want to be hurt. He didn’t deserve it. Akaashi hated himself, but he let it all go. He left himself be taken in by the boy pinning his body and heart down. His eyes. His laugh. His pain. His touch. _How did I even doubt it?_ There was a thousand things Akaashi could list that he loved about Sugawara Koushi, but they all added up to one thing. Sensing his gentle thoughts, the hand on his throat loosened. The words fell out.

"I love you."

Sugawara froze and then pulled his hands back, looking down at Akaashi like a ghost.

Without a word, he grabbed his bag and ran out. Akaashi felt his heart clench, his body couldn't move. He was paralysed by shock. It was his fault it all went to shit. How the hell was he meant to fix it? Sugawara wouldn't return. He would flee. Tears poured down his face as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Emptiness ate at him until a hollow shell of Akaashi Keiji was left on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I teared up writing this :'(  
> By now, you can tell who I ship lmao  
> Dammit. My poor babies. I actually found a school called Aoba Junior High School in that town. It was so funny. You have no idea how long I spent on google maps. Please tell me what you think of the story.  
> Kudos and Comments highly appreciated <3


	10. Haunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi POV in his distress  
> Sugawara POV in his resent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this while listening to 'Such Horrible Things' by Creature Feature

Monday

"The number you have called is unavailable-" Akaashi pressed the hang up button and threw his phone at his lounge.

Sugawara wasn't answering his phone. Akaashi pulled himself out of the pit of despair and tried to apologize. But God knows, he might not get a chance to. He'd just have to wait till tomorrow.

Puffy, glistened hazel eyes popped back into his mind. Akaashi grimaced and sat on the floor.

He had hurt Sugawara to the point he had lost complete trust in him. It was Akaashi's fault it even happened, he knows. It wasn't even about that stupid deal, he just wanted to be around Sugawara. Kuroo was right. He really was thick.

Akaashi imagined what his best friends would say if he told them. Bokuto would be in shock, so there wouldn't be much. Kuroo. Knowing that psychology nerd, he'd probably say give the kid some space.

Maybe he should've just fucked him and got it over with. Akaashi wanted to throw up at the thought. An ugly ache extended from his core to his fingertips, but was challenged by an equally powerful sensation of numbness. It was like being on fire and drowning at once. For the rest of his life, he'd have to live with this.

***

Tuesday

Sugawara showed up to class, to Akaashi's surprise and fear. He expertly avoided eye contact with Akaashi and all other forms of recognition. Akaashi couldn't bring himself to call upon him in the actual lesson. The day dragged on like a mule ploughing under the summer sun. Akaashi felt drained by the end of the day and felt sick when Sugawara immediately packed up on the bell. His nerves carried a weird electric current that made him feel gross. _Guilt?_

Akaashi tries to call him again. _What if he never talks to him again? Is this really where he's going to drop it?_ Akaashi didn't want to leave it, but then he had no right to continue. Not after that. But if he didn't chase Sugawara, he would disappear for good.

Built up frustration and grief made him call his best friends.

"Yo! What's up Keiji?" Kuroo chimed. Akaashi made himself comfortable on his lounge.

"Is Bokuto there with you?"

"Yeah, I'll put you on speaker." A tone rang over and he could hear the distance.

"Hey Akaashi!"

"Hi Bokuto-san." Akaashi smiled a little at his best friend's voice.

"What's wrong?"

"I fucked up guys." Akaashi completed the story in under ten minutes and by the end, there was a minute of silence over the phone.

"Guys?" He asked. Akaashi had already sunk into the hole he made for himself.

"Akaashi…" Bokuto said.

"Dude. You fucked up." Kuroo was blunt enough. Perfect.

"What am I meant to do?"

"Look, you really care about the kid, right?" Kuroo asked.

"Yes."

"Cut it off." Kuroo spat.

"What?"

"I mean it Akaashi. You're doing something you'll regret. Just leave the kid alone now and move on." Kuroo said.

"Kuroo!" Bokuto exclaimed in the background.

Akaashi was shaking. A verbal bomb of things he didn't mean was about to explode. But he quickly diffused it.

"I'm sorry I called guys." Akaashi sighed.

"Keiji-" Kuroo was cut off by Bokuto who took the phone with some fuzzy sounds.

"Akaashi!" He boomed. Akaashi flinched.

"Yes, Bokuto-san."

"If you really do love him, you have to tell him. Properly I mean. Put it on the line. Love's worth it. And if it doesn't work, then oh well. I'll slap the kid for turning you down." Bokuto huffed.

"Thank you, Bokuto-san. You know, you really are the best senpai in my life." Akaashi smiled when he heard Bokuto's fluster.

"We'll always be here. Along with your parents and other friends. Living there, it might be weird and I know you haven't made many friends, but you're not alone. But just, be careful." Bokuto was in mum mode. A state he had developed from hanging around Kuroo who was dad.

"Thank you." Akaashi wiped away a stray tear.

"Alright. If it works out, I'll introduce you to him."

"Of course! We have to do the best friend profiling." Bokuto laughed and then put him back on loud speaker.

"Sorry Kuroo. I'm going to have to go with Bokuto here, but I think you are right."

"Then why the- you know what. Do what you want. Things always seem to work out for you anyways." Kuroo's raised voice turned into a sigh.

"Talk to you later!"

"Ciao!" They said at the same time before Akaashi hung up with a smile. He wasn't alone.

***

Wednesday

Akaashi practice his words in his car. Just how he should explain himself. He would explain why and how he fell in love with him. Akaashi was grossed out how cheesy he sounded, so he cut it off and would just leave it to the moment. He'd have to do something he hadn't done before. Sugawara wouldn't stay behind. Oh. Training. He'd have to catch them after training.

The second day back at school. Sugawara never showed up…

###

Tuesday

Sugawara was sitting in the living room watching a random Rom-Com on the TV as his mum prepared dinner.

It got up to the part where the guy was about to confess. _How stupid._

Flashbacks of Akaashi-san came back to him. He said he loved him. He remembers how he treated him before that day. He believed him well enough, but he thought Sugawara cheated on him. He was in a friends-with-benefit relationship with a teacher, it was meant to balance it. He didn't need anyone.

The constant state of balance between his actions and how he felt was gruesome. Sugawara knew he was self-destructive and for a damn good reason. He wanted to tell Akaashi-san about it. He wanted to admit he was not how he saw him. The skeleton in the closet would prance out and bow for Akaashi, but now Sugawara knows he won't accept him. If he worried about him going around, it'd be a problem when he found out about him. He was doing the right thing avoiding him.

Sugawara sighed and flopped on to the cushions as soon as the scene came up.

The main character confessed just as someone knocked on the door.

"I'll get it." Sugawara hollered. He jumped up and hastened to the front door.

He unlocked the two locks and pulled the frame open.

His heart thumped and blood drain to his toes. He stepped back as the man in front of him smiled.

"Hi Kou-chan." Izumi smiled. His wavy, light brown hair was shorter than last time he saw him. Purple orbs looked him up and down making a violent shudder ripple through him. He was left trembling when he saw the suitcase in his grip. Izumi stepped inside and closed in on Sugawara. His hand raised up, Sugawara watched it until it got close and squeezed his eyes shut. The cold hand ruffled his hair and Sugawara cringed.

"You got bigger." He commented, dropping his hand.

"What are you doing here?" Sugawara spat.

"Oh Izumi-kun! Come in. Koushi, grab his bag." The moment was brilliantly interrupted by Sugawara's mum. Sugawara did just that as the owner walked in.

"Thank you for letting me stay while Dad is out of the country." Izumi hugged Sugawara's mother.

"Nonsense. My brother should've taken you with him. How have you been, how's your medication?" Sugawara got it and carried the bag upstairs. Sugawara had once prayed his cousin would die. He put it in the spare room and venture back downstairs to Izumi sitting at the table, while his mum served up the food.

"How have you been Kou-chan?" Sugawara sat across from him, trembling.

"Good." Sugawara avoided eye contact.

"How's volleyball?"

"Good."

"Koushi. Talk to your cousin properly." Sugawara got scolded by his mum as she brought the food over.

"I'll get the drinks." He rushed off before he could get scolded.

And once again. Here Sugawara was playing house. His lungs felt like plastic. Everything was fuzzy. _Ah, Akaashi-san. That's who I was thinking about._ Sugawara grabbed the green tea from the fridge and three glasses. Maybe this would go like last time. A stupid thought played in Sugawara's mind and he dismissed it as he poured the drinks. Izumi was watching his every move with an intention filled stare.

Fear. Hatred. Disgust. Anxiety. Dread. Emotions pumped through Sugawara's veins, his mind conjured memories that spurred his imagination. It was a defence mechanism to prepare for the eventual scene. Sugawara looked up at Izumi, immediately finding a disgusting shade of purple.

It was all his fault. His thought of running away. He has tried to convince himself it wasn't his fault. But he did let it all happen. He was disgusting, just like Izumi said. _What kind of person seduces his cousin?_ _Me. That's who._

A voice came back to his head another memory.

* * *

  _"Do you think you're a star?" Akaashi-san looked beautiful in the luminescence glow. Stars shine brightest in the dark right. He felt on fire when he was sinning. He read it once before internal abuse. It was something he couldn't help. Well, that's how he often felt. Helpless. But maybe if Akaashi-san saw something in him, then maybe he wasn't that bad._

_"Kind of." For you, kind of._

* * *

  _Akaashi-san, I'm sorry._

Sugawara served his gaze to his mother's forearms, where a large scar was ornamented. If he told her, that slash would be opened the exact way it was made. He couldn't let her know. It'd ruin her. To have a child like him. Her brother and she were the only two siblings. She treasured family above everything. It's all Sugawara's fault, not hers.

As Sugawara's mum focused on scooping the rice, Sugawara saw him mouth something. He shivered in his seat.

_'Later.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it's just as fucked up as it sounds.  
> Bokuto and Kuroo are the best friends.  
> Kudos and Comments highly appreciated <3


	11. Phantoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ******TRIGGER WARNING******  
> CHILD ABUSE  
> SEXUAL ABUSE  
> SEXUAL ASSAULT  
> RAPE  
> MENTIONS OF RAPE  
> INCEST  
> MOLESTATION  
> MENTAL ILLNESS - PTSD, DEPRESSION, SCHZIOAFFECTIVE DISORDER, ANXIETY, DISSASSOCIATION  
> ASSAULT  
> MAJOR FAMILY PROBLEMS  
> DRUGS
> 
> Sugawara POV Flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Empty Eyes by Within Temptation

"Stop it!" Sugawara lashed out his arms. Skin built up under his fingernails in a second. The little silver haired boy trembled against his the wooden frame of his bed digging into his back. The older boy smirked under the cover of his fringe, before raising his razor violet eyes to Sugawara. A shallow, messy scratch reddened across Izumi's cheek.

Sugawara squeezed his hands and then sprung up to run out of his bedroom. Arms grabbed him, pushing him on to his bed. He opened his mouth to scream but it was covered by a firm hand. Izumi had two years' worth of growth on Sugawara. He was tall, good at sport and really strong, Sugawara wanted to be like him. But not now. Sugawara wanted his mum. Where was she? Shouldn't she be back from the shop?! Mum! MUM! DAD!

"Shhh…. Kou-chan. I just want to play a game." Izumi smiled above him. This was scarier than any movie he's watched with mum and dad. Izumi wasn't good. It was scary. He is scary.

"It's a game you can't tell anyone about. If you do, something bad will happen. Your parents won't like you playing this game, so if you tell them, you'll get in trouble." The older boy threatened. He doesn't care. He will tell on him! Izumi is being mean! Send him home!

"Be quiet Koushi, or I'll tell your parents on you." Izumi shook him. If they found out about this game, he'd get in trouble. Mum doesn't like when Sugawara causes trouble. No. Mummy.

"Be quiet." Izumi reaffirmed. Koushi squeezed his eyes shut and the hand left his mouth slowly, testing if he would scream. He wanted to scream. He should scream. He might get in trouble. Mum might grab the knife again. No Mum. Sugawara squeezed his lips shut, squeaking as Izumi's hand tugged down his shorts.

***

 

**You're determined by your faith you attempt to make up**

**You lay out your case like the enemy**

**But all that you got through dirty white lies**

**You find the damn correct way of blaming me for your crimes**

 

 

***

No one dared giggle. It was too embarrassing to find funny, but it was kind of… naughty. Everyone watched with interest and red cheeks as Sensei explained how a man and woman make a baby. They were in their last year of Elementary school and the teachers taught seperated boys and girls classes to learn about stuff like this. Sugawara's ears were red from the beginning, it was very tense and he felt all his classmates fidgiting.

Sex. Consent. Girls and Boys.

It had something to do with a boy putting his penis inside a girl, Sugawara knew that from potty mouth boys in the playground. But still, finding out a girl has a special place inside of her belly for that was kind of scary. He thought of his mum, how she would've… no. Sugawara cringed at the thoughts bubbling up.

Sex. A memory came back to him. Izumi's game. Was that…. No. Two boys couldn't have sex, could they?

Sugawara raised his hand. Sensei looked at him with a smile.

"Sensei, can two boys have sex?" The class again wanted to giggle but it seems curiousity washed over it like a tidal wave. Sensei wavered and scratched his neck.

"They can. But you shouldn't have sex with another boy." He said slowly.

"How do boys have sex?!" A girl shouted. The room burst into laughter.

"Ask your Health teacher in Middle School." Sensei sighed.

Sparks buzzed at the tips of Sugawara's ears. Two boys can have sex. Two boys can have sex. Two boys can have sex…

He stayed after class and went to his teacher with a timid voice.

"Can you have sex with family?"

Sensei crouched with a hand on his shoulder to look him in the eye.

"Sugawara-kun, that's called 'incest' and it shouldn't happen. Family is your special group of people who will love you for the rest of your life. The type of love you feel for your mother isn't the same as you would a girlfriend." He said, nodded swiftly.

Incest. He doesn't love Izumi. Izumi is scary and bully. He won't ever love him like a lover or a cousin. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, making his teacher smile.

"Now, let's get to lunch."

***

 

**Won't you talk to me?**

**Don't laugh and run away**

***

Camping was always fun in shows and picture books. There's someone in the family who sucks at putting up the tent. One who cooks. Another who knows the wilderness because they were raised in the country.

Sugawara wanted camping to be like that. Normal. With a fun family who knows how to have a good time. It's  not easy having a good time when your older cousin won't stop watching you.

"I want my own tent." Sugawara told his Dad as he was building the fire. He looked at him and laughed.

"You can share with Izumi. You two will have fun." Fun, he said.

"But Dad, I'm scared." Sugawara started sobbing. His Dad sighed and grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his face. Sugawara's attempt shrivelled with the look his Dad gave him. He knows why they were doing this.

"Be good. For mum. Please." He stated. Sugawara looked at the ground like a puppy with it's tail tucked between it's legs.

"Alright." Sugawara agreed to help. His Dad smiled and went back to working. Sugawara avoided Izumi most of the day by reading a book under a tree and in the backseat of the car. It's pages were ending with the sunlight. Sugawara put the book in his bag and left the car to the chairs around the fire.

"Ah, so how old are you turning this year Sugawara?" His Uncle, Izumi's dad, asked after he sat down. Izumi was sitting on a chair on the other side of the bonfire. He wanted the fire to eat him up.

"I'm 11, turning 12." Sugawara explained.

"Wow, so big! I remember when you and Izumi were only babies." His Uncle went on to tell stories while his Dad got out food to cook on the fire. Sugawara helped him plate up. He smiled when his mum smiled when he presented her with a plate of barbecue food. She was in hospital two weeks ago. Dad thought it'd be good to go back to nature for a while.

Sugawara enjoyed the stories of the places his Uncle has been. How wonderful it would be at the top of the Eiffel Tower, looking over the city of Love like a guardian. Sugawara liked cities, they were big and interesting. Things always happening. It was time to settle for bed. Everyone went to the communal hot spring which the camping ground was popular for before going to their tents. Sugawara waited til his Mum, the last one wanted to leave. He put on his long sleeved shirt and jumper with pants with a lace. He pulled the laces tight and tied his pants tightly to his hips. Izumi won't do anything. He wouldn't, not with everyone around.

Sugawara walked back to his tent and opened it to his older cousin already asleep to one side. Thank God. Sugawara slide inside the tent door and zipped it closed careful to not disturb Izumi's slumber. But it was too late, he found out when he was about to pass out into sleep. It was dark, but a faint glow came through the dark blue tent. Shadows on a tree took over half the tent. Once his eyes adjusted, he could see alright. Izumi rolled over and curled an arm around Sugawara so they were spooning. He felt like a plank, all thought and bodily processes quit for a few seconds.

"You smell good." Izumi whispered on his neck. Sugawara shivered.

"Last year, they taught us about that game you made me play with you. But it's not a game. It's like sex." Sugawara spoke carefully. Behind him the young teen turned into a jackal smiling at its prey.

"That wasn't sex Kou-chan."

Sugawara's skin rose in goosebumps where Izumi trailed his fingers down to his pants. He caught the hand and stayed like that for a moment.

There was a vicious low chuckle near his ear and he knew his hands were shaking.

"You can't scream Kou-chan. Aunty might get sad again. You let me do that last time. You could've kicked me or something. Just like this time." No. NO. No. Sugawara wanted to scream. But the last thing he wanted was seeing his mum upset again. Izumi would just touch him and be done with it right? He didn't tell anyone, so he's still not going to be in trouble.

"Kou-chan, turn around." Izumi instructed. Sugawara slowly turned around, face to face with a demon not a child.

"You're disgusting Izumi. I'm your cousin." The smirk on his face dissolved into a hardset expression. He could run. He couldn't run. Where would he go? The car?!

"Don't think about running away this time." Izumi growled. The older boy grabbed his waist to keep him in place while the other reached down. Sugawara grabbed his hands.

"Kou-chan. I'm trying to make you feel good. Or would you rather get hurt." A shiver rippled through his entire body.

"Leave me alone." He said.

"Wrong answer." Izumi got his bandana from under his pillow and before Sugawara could get up, he had his hands pinned.

"Be quiet or you'll wake everyone." Sugawara stopped moving for a tick. Everything felt bad. He shouldn't be doing this. Why was he doing this?

With his hands bound above his head, Sugawara brought his elbows down. He might be able to punch him. Izumi was happy enough with his handy work to put himself in a sleeping bag and then guide Sugawara's legs in after grabbed them until they were two caterpillars in one cocoon. Sugawara realized he couldn't move without making a sound now.

"Why are you doing this Izumi?" Sugawara whispered. Izumi cupped his face and smiled.

"Because I love you Kou-chan." Izumi kissed his forehead. It felt like someone pressed slime to his head. Sugawara leaned away but Izumi went down and undid his tie knot. Fingers invaded his underwear and grabbed his penis. Sugawara went to push Izumi, but Izumi squeezed him making him gasp in pain and pull his arms in.

"If you don't want me to rip it off. Stay still."

Why did he have to pee back at the toilets. He should've held it in. No, cause this shouldn't be happening. Sugawara turned into a brick wall as his cousin fondled his small penis. He knows it will 'get hard' when he's older. Izumi probably wants that. Sugawara didn't feel the tears well in the bottom corners of his eyes. He pressed his face into the pillow and convulsed when Izumi pressed their hips together and wrapped his hands around both of their penises. What is he doing? What is happening?

"Your not old enough yet to do this Sugawara, but you'll learn now how men do it." Izumi whispered. His hands moved up and down against one soft and hard member. Sugawara started to sob quietly.

"Kou-chan. It's alright." Izumi said. Sugawara looked up at him to glare but then he saw Izumi crying his eyes out, smiling.

"Izumi?" He sobbed. Izumi's face then contorted and Sugawara felt his cousins hand change to play with his own. Sugawara watched Izumi's face change to look like he just got in a perfect bath.

"Look Kou-chan." Izumi brought up his hand up, in the pale light Sugawara could see his hand covered in some weird white stuff. Semen, he remembers his teacher saying. Izumi rubbed his fingers against his palm playing with it. Sugawara grimaced and reached his tied hand down to push his junk back in his pants and pull them, but Izumi grabb his jaw and made him open his mouth and then heput his hand over his mouth. Sugawara gagged at the gross taste.

"Swallow it Kou-chan, and I'll let you go." …. Sugawara did as he was told.

****

 

 

**I'm onto you, yesterday**

 

***

The school bell chimed for school to officially begin, although the whole class was already here. Sugawara didn't feel like talking to his friends, although they asked what was wrong. He should tell someone. He just doesn't know who. He doesn't have any best friends and the teacher will tell his parents. He's alone. He can't ever tell anyone about Izumi. Never ever.

***

 

**With empty eyes**

 

 

***

"Let me out!" Sugawara screamed and banged against the padded door to the wardrobe. Which he figure out was actually a fucking cell. Fucking Mum and Dad making him come here. He couldn't even run away without getting caught by this creep. He felt his heart beating against his sternum. It was dark, with only a slit of light from the crack under the door. Izumi's feet created two bridges of darkness in the light.

"You can scream all you want Kou-chan, but our house is actually soundproof. I'm the only one who can hear you. Your screams are music to my ears." His twisted cousin laughed.

"Why are you doing this Izumi!" He won't stop yelling.

"I heard you tried to run away from home last month. Aunty was upset, I heard she had to go back to hospital. If you don't agree, then I'll just leave you in here. And if you die, I'll just tell them you ran away." He told him through the door.

"You're a freak Izumi!" He yelled, pushing against the door with no use.

"If I'm a freak, you're an abomination Koushi. You weren't meant to be born. Your father didn't want you to be born. Your mother had you anyways. They try to act normal now, but it doesn't change anything. You know this kind of thing runs in the family. I found out your mum was raped by our great uncle when she was little. That's why she's so messed up in the head."

"What, no. Mum is just sad. She has severe-"

"Why? Why is she like that Koushi? Have you ever asked that instead of accepting reality?"

"No." Mum. Sugawara sunk to his knees.

"But don't worry. I won't do that to you Kou-chan. I'm not a mean old pervert. I'm your big brother."

Like a stunned fish in water, Sugawara could only flow with the tide. He stayed silent for several hours. The whole time, Izumi kept going in and out of the room. The mental puzzle in his head clicked together. That's why mum sometimes pushes away Dad. That's why she wishes he was a girl. That's why…

He counted two days passing with the room going completely dark twice and his stomach started to eat itself. He heard Izumi walk back in and stood right in front of the closet room.

"Alright Izumi. I'll play." Sugawara murmured. The dead bolt lock unclicked and Sugawara winced at the bright light, silhouetting Izumi. He was in the corner, pressed up against the wall weakly. Sugawara peed in the bucket left in here and the smell clung to the walls.

"Good boy Kou-chan." Izumi extended his hand. Sugawara looked at it like a venomous snake, but reached out and let it help him up.

Izumi took him out to the kitchen and pulled out two meals. Sugawara had never eaten so fast in his life. Izumi watched him eat. He finished by sculling a bottle of water.

"Let's go to the bathroom." Izumi walked over and grabbed his wrist. Sugawara nodded. He noticed the front door was also locked from the inside when he first showed up. He definitely locked it. He was let in first and Sugawara went straight to the toilet to pass his bowels. He was so weak, it was ridiculous. And no way, he couldn't go in that bucket, he would've suffocated. After he was done, he unlocked the door when Izumi told him too.

All his muscles felt slack and he probably smelled gross. Izumi locked the bathroom door and then went ahead and undressed him. Izumi got the shower at the right temperature and guided Sugawara in. Izumi wore boxers and a singlet, his mid teen figure showed through. Sugawara had just reached puberty and was growing tall, but he would probably never catch up to Izumi. Izumi got in the shower with him and washed his entire body with a sponge and body wash.

"Kou-chan. Hold the wall." He told Sugawara. Sugawara obeyed from some deep part of him.

Before he could protest, Izumi pressed a finger against his asshole. Sugawara squealed like a pained animal as a digit entered a place it wasn't meant to. He knew about sex know. It was different for guys. Guys did it like this.

"What are you doing?" Sugawara asked in spite.

"Cleaning you." Izumi replied in a low tone.

Sugawara felt his dick harden and he flushed heavily. He wanted to scream and throw Izumi off, but there wasn't an escape. Izumi made sure. He was trapped. God, he wanted to touch himself. Izumi entered another finger and pressed against a spot which made his legs nearly give out. He bit his hand from groaning.

"Are you hard Kou-chan?" Izumi teased. Sugawara nodded in a haze of pain and self-loathing. His senses muffled out by the sensation of Izumi's soapy fingers in him and the hot water relaxing his muscles. Izumi's reached around and grabbed his boner and stroked it. Sugawara let out an animalistic cry. It felt so good, but so gross. He had never felt anything like this. Was this what sex felt like? Was this what all his classmates wanted to feel with girls? Questions joined the cloud of smoke in his mind and then he felt a heavy heat in his groin and arched his back when it all came out. He panted and went to flop to the floor but Izumi caught him.

"Good boy, Kou-chan."

Izumi walked him out of the shower to lean against the large basin. Izumi got a fluff, soft towel and gently patted him dry. Sugawara leaned against the body and looked at the mirror. He looked pasty and tired, like his Dad after a long week of working hard and he wakes up at midday on a Saturday.

Izumi then led him naked back to his bedroom and sat him down on his double bed. Izumi took off his shirt and stepped forward in front of Sugawara. He reached down and cupped his cheek. Sugawara flinched.

"Don't be scared. I won't hurt you." Izumi bent down and then kissed Sugawara. Sugawara kept his eyes open for his first kiss. It was weird, but then Izumi kissed him deeper and it felt good. He felt like he had no control of his body. Everything felt weak and buzzing. Izumi pushed Sugawara back on to his bed and easily lifted Sugawara's light frame to the middle of the bed. Sugawara lied flat and let the older boy heat up his body. It was like being in a video game. You had the controller, but you weren't there. Sugawara wanted to drop the game and leave, but Izumi was the game master. He had Sugawara glued to the controller and he couldn't run because outside the room, monster waited to eat him. Monsters with big teeth and evil laughs.

Izumi left him for a moment and came back and placed things beside him.

"A girl confessed to me earlier this year. She was cute. She said she wanted to try this. So I tried it. She started to cry but said it felt good. I was surprised, but she got clingy after that and I had to break up with her. I didn't want to spend my first with a girl like that. I wanted you. I've only wanted you." Izumi spread his knees out. Sugawara tried to move his limbs, but it just wasn't working. He pushed every bottom on the controller and shook it, he was screaming at the scream but the avatar wasn't moving. He lied there as his cousin lubed his fingers and then continued to spread his asshole. Sugawara started crying. All the foundations of the world collapsed around him.

***

 

 

**I don't know where I'm going**

**In search for answers**

**I don't know who I'm fighting**

**I stand with empty eyes**

 

***

Sugawara lied on Izumi's bed feeling like he has no bones in his body. This is week three…no two. Five? Sugawara lost count of days. He lost himself. Drowning in a pool of affection and pleasure, it was hard to remember anything else but how to listen for instructions and his own name which was said so many times, in so many different ways.

"I love you Koushi." Izumi said from where he sat on the other side of the bed.

"Do you love me?" He asked. Love?

_Is this love?_

***

 

**You're like the ghost within me**

**Who's draining my life**

 

***

"Move." Sugawara pushed the random student away from him. They occupied a store room in a part of the school that doesn't get used. He just had the worst sex of his life. The guy couldn't even get it in the first three tries. Fucking stupid. Sugawara pulled up his pants and did up his belt.

"Can we do this again?" The guy asked.

"I'm sorry, what's your name?" Sugawara smiled. Hope for more fleeted from the guy's face. Sugawara tucked in his shirt and went out the door.

"Clean this mess up." He told him on the way out.

Sugawara went to the third closest bathroom and cleaned himself properly. Two guys entered as he was about to stand up from the toilet.

"Oh, have you heard about that guy?"

"Who?"

"You know, that fag who's been sleeping with guys in third year."

"Oh. Gross. I wouldn't do shit like that."

"Yeah, how stupid." They laughed. Sugawara stood and then flushed the toilet and walked out the stall and straight to the basin. They two boys stopped laughing and watched him. Sugawara carefully washed his hands and then turned off the tap. He turned his head to the two guys. They looked away. Sugawara wiped his hands and on the way out pinched one their butts. He screamed like a bitch. Sugawara laughed on the way out. They better watch their asses.

Sugawara made his way too class as the bell rang.

After school, he was walking passed the local high school when he bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry kid." The guy said and steadied him. Sugawara glared and he took his hands off of Sugawara. Nice guy. He was a prep stupid with a dorky straight haircut. Another guy came along and slung his arm around the guy's shoulders. Blonde hair, piercings complete opposite of the prep.

"What are you doing Taki-kun?" The delinquent laughed and then looked at Sugawara like a kid.

"Sorry big brothers. I'll be careful next time." He said and scrapped past them.

"Hey, wait there kid." The delinquent said.

"Taki, you go on. I gotta talk to this kid." He told his friend.

"What do you want?" Sugawara asked.

"Walk with me kid." He said.

"Stop calling me a 'kid'." Sugawara didn't move when he walked past him. The guy turned around and looked at Sugawara like a problem. Hah. Here we go.

"Alright. I just want to ask you a question." The guy said. He had an accent from down south.

"Fine." Sugawara walked with him for two blocks towards his house.

"Are you gay?" The older teen asked.

"What's it to you?" Sugawara asked.

"Here's my number. Call me if you feel like talking about it." He scribbled down his number on a small notepad and ripped it off. He passed it to Sugawara.

"Look Onii-chan, I don't need any help." Sugawara rejected it.

"It's going to be hard without a friend." The guy said. Sugawara scoffed.

"It's going to be hard anyways." He said. The guy stood up straight.

"How did you know, I was gay, that is?" Sugawara asked out of curiousity. The older guy rubbed his neck.

"I can just tell these things. Look. Be careful. I went through a hell of a time too."

"Do you have a boyfriend? Is it that Taki guy?" Sugawara asked. The guy laughed.

"You are a cheeky brat, asking your senpai questions. Yes, he's my boyfriend. He's not gay though." The delinquent shrugged.

"Lucky you." Sugawara went to walk past.

"Wait-" He went to stopped Sugawara but he got shoved. Sugawara looked at him wide eyed and then ran away.

"Leave me alone!" He yelled.

***

 

**It's like my soul is see through**

**Right through my empty eyes**

 

***

"1:00pm train for Tokyo now boarding." The speaker boomed. Sugawara picked up his bag and took the first determined step.

***

 

**Right through my empty eyes**

 

***

He knocked on the familiar apartment door. Three moments later, it opened. Izumi answered while only wearing pants. The smell of sex wafted off of him. He light up as soon as he saw Sugawara. Goddamit. Fuck everything. Sugawara wanted to jump out a window.

"Kou-chan!" He sung and opened the door for him.

"Do you have someone over?" He asked.

"Oh yeah. Don't mind them." He waved his hand. Sugawara entered the dragon's lair. He walked in and glanced in Izumi's room to see a guy and girl asleep on his bed. He must've got up to answer the door.

"Sit down." Izumi offered. Sugawara sat on at the dinner table.

"What brings you to Tokyo?" Redemption? Revenge? No…

"You, actually." Izumi's head snapped to Sugawara. A moment later, Izumi was kissing him and Sugawara kissed back. Sugawara was peeled out of his large coat and pressed against the closest wall.

"You really grew up Kou-chan." Izumi panted.

"Yeah. I'm in high school now."

"Kou-chan, do you love me?" Izumi stripped off Sugawara's shirt. Sugawara wanted to disappear into nothing. He is trash.

"I hate your fucking guts Izumi."

 Izumi laughed.

"I'm honoured." He said.

***

 

**I'm about to give in, I got nowhere to go**

**Afraid of the sins, I'm holding on**

***

The girl squeezed around him as she came. Sugawara followed as Izumi's dick hit that spot he was longing for. The room was filled with a spicy incense that girl winked when he asked what that smell was.

Sugawara wanted to fill the hole eating away inside of him. He was going to Hell. Nothing mattered. As long as his mum and Dad don't find out.

"Kou-chan. How does it feel?" Izumi whispered in his ear after he flopped forward, letting Izumi thrust into him like a dog in heat.

"Amazing."

The guy underneath the girl had already come and now looked like he was dying from whatever drug he took earlier. Sugawara wished he could only do this with drugs, not casually as he does. Izumi sat back and pulled out Sugawara from the girl. Sugawara bounced on Izumi's adult dick.

"You're mine Koushi." Teeth dug into Sugawara's shoulder and he moaned.

***

 

**There's no other way, no doubt in the end**

**But I ain't got a thing to lose, nothing to defend**

***

White snow covered the shrine's grounds. The sky above was a murky grey. It was a bad day for his last day of year 11. Matching Sugawara's mood. He left his phone at home, filled with Daichi's worrisome texts. He walked out of class today. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to be at home. He didn't want to be anywhere.

Even his team. His friends. They don't know him. He doesn't want them too. He'll act good for them. For mum and dad. But fuck the world. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore.

He climbed through the calf deep snow to the actually shrine building. He sat on the porch and looked at his messy footsteps. He shoved his hands in pockets and leaned over.

Everything was so fucked up. He couldn't keep doing this. It felt like he was being dragged through the mud filled with glass shards. He was disgusting, hurt and no one could see it. He was a scarred phantom floating through life. His mind went back to Izumi and how he got here. What if this never happened? What if he wasn't born? What if he just walked out in front of that truck that time when he was eight. Would life be easier for everyone else if he didn't exist? Can he even try to be normal? Like a bolt of lightning, the world becomes clear.

 

He's alone… and he hates it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This was really hard to write. But I finally got time to write. Hah. I'm sorry Sugawara baby. I fucking love him so much and I do this. I tagged angst right?

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
